


Deal

by Shreiking_Beauty



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know, M/M, Mild Sexual Humor, One of my first fics so not so good writing, POV Changes, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Romance, Sad, Self-Harm, Sometimes a little crazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-08 01:10:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 33,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3190196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shreiking_Beauty/pseuds/Shreiking_Beauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WARNING! Self-harm! I didn't put it in the Archive Warnings because it's not really Graphic Violence, you know?</p><p>Whilst flying around for no reason whatsoever, Tony Stark picks up on Loki's signal and investigates. He takes pity on the broken god, and they become friends.</p><p>When Tony finds out Loki is cutting himself, they make a deal; Tony stops drinking and Loki stops cutting himself.</p><p>I promise it's better than it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony discovers Loki's hide out

I had taken to flying around in my Iron Man suit. Especially when Pepper locked away my alcohol. We had a horrible fight about it earlier today.

“Sir, I am detecting a peculiar energy source nearby,” Jarvis interrupted.

“What do you mean, what kind?” I asked impatiently, not about to spend my free time investigating suspicious energies.

“It appears to have common readings with what I gathered from Loki.” Well, this was different. I thought about calling the team, but kind of wanted to pick on the god myself. Besides, the Asgardians seemed to trust him enough to allow him to come down here and give off energy or whatever. But what was he doing here?

“Take me to him,” I instructed. We made a sharp turn and flew about a mile to an apartment complex. I landed on a top floor balcony and peeked into a crack in the heavy drapes that were closed over the sliding glass doors. From what I could tell, it was poorly furnished and dark. The door was locked, no surprise there, but with a strong tug in my suit, the lock broke and it slid open.

Sneaking wasn’t really on the list of the suit’s best qualities, but I tried to snoop around quietly. All that was there was an old couch with a table and lamp beside it, a TV and some video games, and a small dish of cat food and water. I was starting to think this wasn’t actually the evil god’s apartment, until I found the bedroom.

Loki was asleep in the middle of a double bed, the sheets wrapped around him haphazardly. His brow was furrowed, and he kept twitching and making little distressed noises.

“Loki, wake up!” I said loudly, opening the visor on my helmet. His body jolted when I said his name, but he rolled over and put a pillow over his head.

“Leave me alone, Thor!” he said, the sound muffled by the pillow. So, Thor knew he was here.

“I feel like I should be insulted by that,” I said. He froze, then jumped up and scramble to squish as far away from me as he could while still on the bed, and still trapped in the mess of sheets.

“St-Stark!” He huffed in terror, staring at me like I had fangs. I couldn’t help laughing as he watched me sit next to him on the bed. “How did you find me?” he asked, still breathing heavily. “What are you going to do to me?”

“Relax, I’m too drunk to do anything bad,” I teased. “So, what brings you to Midgard, and whatever happened to being punished on Asgard?”

“Thor rescued me and hid me here. He will protect me! And I have my magic to defend myself!”

“Geez, will you cool your jets? I told you I’m not going to do anything! Ugh, I’m not drunk enough for this. You got anything to drink?”

“Just water . . .” he muttered cautiously. It suddenly occurred to me that he should be screaming and throwing green balls of rage at me like the crazy demon he is. I also noticed that this realization meant I was losing the small buzz I had.

“Why so serious?”

“Maybe . . . I should call Thor . . .”

“Don’t call Thor, he’s probably asleep! Besides, I’ve got a few more questions. Are you going to answer them, or should I just arrest you?”

“I-I’ll answer them,” he stuttered.

“Good. So, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re not all . . . _crazy_ like you usually are.”

“What makes you an authority on how I ‘usually’ am?” he asked coolly. I looked at him sharply, and his eyes widened and he pressed himself further against the wall. “I-I mean, I’m just tired . . .”

“What are you doing here?”

“Waiting.”

“For what?”

“A few Midgardian lifetimes, perhaps, when everyone has forgotten what I’ve done, and it’s safe to come out of hiding.”

“That’s a long time. What if things don’t work out?”

“Well, we do have several backup plans, and Thor . . . Thor _promised_ he wouldn’t ever give up.” I was shocked at the emotion in his voice. He always seemed like an unfeeling lunatic to me. I didn’t know why, but I was sympathizing with him, and I didn’t like it.

“Well,” I said suddenly, making him jump, as I stood up. “Seeing as you’re not terrorizing anyone, I’ll be on my way.” And yet . . . I wanted to stay. I dreaded the thought of returning home to Pepper and sinking back into my every day routine. Sure, things had spiced up when the other Avengers moved in to Avenger’s Tower, but they had easily made their own routines, and the only break from them was when we had a super villain to fight. “But, I’d better check up on you sometimes, so don’t try anything.” And I left.

 


	2. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki cuts

Loki’s POV  
The feeling of the knife digging into my flesh was a reminder that pain was all I would ever feel. I belonged nowhere. Thick red liquid gushed out of me and dripped into the bathroom sink. I was useless, I deserved this. I am unloved and alone. I drug the blade from my wrist to my elbow, and watched the blood come out in ribbons.  
Blood was such a beautiful thing. So red, so smooth. My favorite color was green, but not even the most lush garden or the most pure emerald could compete with the color of blood. My blood was cold, unlike the warm juice that coursed through the veins of my brother. Still warmer than my skin, it covered me in sticky trails.  
Oh, I would paint the world with blood.


	3. Chilling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony visits Loki and they chill.

**Tony’s POV**

I went back the next night. Pepper and I had another fight (big surprise) and she went to stay with her sister to “cool off.” Why she didn’t just dump me, I had no idea. I sure as hell wasn’t stupid enough to dump her. She was perfect in every way, by far the best thing that has ever and will ever happen to me. Perhaps I should change for her, but it was so _difficult._ Someone once told me that it’s not real love if they want you to change for them. Another said I should change for her, but they thought the problem was my drinking. It may consist largely of that, but she has been complaining about my snarky attitude and arrogance. That was just _me._ I couldn’t change who I was, no matter how badly I wanted to.

I landed on the balcony with a thunk and opened the door, still broken. Loki was scowling at me from the couch, his legs up on it under a thin blanket and a thick book in his hands.

“You _could_ knock,” he grumbled.

“That’s the irritable god I know!” I commented, patting his knee so he would move for me. He brought his knees up near his chest and I sat down.

“You don’t have to check on my every day, you know. Thor visits me every day at four o’clock.”

“See, the point of me checking on you is to make sure you’re not causing problems. Ergo, I must show up unexpected.” Loki sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Thor knocks. He uses the front door, too.”

“Thor and I have very few things in common. In fact, I could count them on one hand.”

“Can you?” he challenged. I smirked and counted off my fingers as I spoke.

“We both have Midgardian girlfriends, live in Stark—I mean, Avengers Tower, and we are both filthy rich.”

“And you’re both men,” he added.

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure my dick is bigger than his anyway.” Loki let out a loud disbelieving scoff/laugh, arousing some suspicions about his and his brother’s relationship, but I let it go. “Come on, the guy’s blonde! Everyone knows that guys with blond hair have smaller dicks than guys with black hair.”

Loki smirked and stroked his own ebony hair. “I said _guys_ ,” I teased. His expression turned to one of rage, and he threw his pillow at me as hard as he could. I ducked, and it exploded against my helmet, covering me with down.

“Geez!” I shouted, laughing. “For a skinny little outcast, you sure pack a punch!”

He glowered at me, but I saw that pain in his eyes I saw yesterday. “I am a _god_! I’ve been through more pain than a mortal could survive! I caught one of Barton’s speeding arrows in my hand! I could turn that suit of yours into a pretzel!”

“I’ll ask you not to try that. Anyway, you look real busy, uh, _reading,_ so I’ll get out of your hair.”

“My _black_ hair.”

“Your _greasy_ hair!” I ducked out the door before the wadded-up blanket hit it, making it shudder.

 

 


	4. Hanging out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys hang out and bond over Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword!

I took off my suit and snuck in quietly. I had planned to sneak up and scare Loki, but as I neared the bedroom door where a light was coming out, a little gray striped cat started meowing at me. Loki poked his head out to see what was wrong, and his eyes lit up when he saw me, but he visibly stopped himself from smiling.

“When did you get a cat?” I asked. Come to think of it, I did see a cat food dish when I first came here. Loki picked it up and scratched its head.

“Thor got it to keep me company. I put a spell on it so it won’t age. It’ll stay tiny forever.”

“What’s his name?” I asked, coming closer to pet it.

“I haven’t named him yet.”

“We should name him together.” He looked up at me, a little surprised.

“I want to name him something important, something that means something.”

“Hmm, well, we could always name him Tony,” I joked. “What’s he like?”

“He’s very cuddly, and playful, and he bites.” As if to confirm the statement, the kitten wrapped its front paws around my finger and gnawed on it. “I like it when he holds things in his paws.”

“Yeah, it’s cute.”

“Yes. Cute.” I laughed loudly, never thinking Loki would say something like that. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just, the way you said ‘cute’ was so . . . _cute_!”

“What— _I_ am not _cute_! Small, furry animals and little children are cute, not grown men!”

“ _I_ can be cute!” I said, pulling my cutest face, but he just glared at me. “Whatever, let’s name this cat!”

“How about ‘Schadenfruede’?” he asked.

“Um, sure, what does that mean?”

“It’s German, and it means ‘deriving pleasure from another’s pain.’”

“Uh . . . maybe we’d better keep thinking.” Loki’s face fell a little, and the kitten bit me again, this time painfully. “Ouch! It is fitting, I’ll admit . . . okay, Schadenfreude it is.” He actually smiled and started cooing to the little kitten in some other language. I eyed his video game consoles.

“Do you ever actually play those?” I asked. He looked up where I was pointing.

“Jane set them up for us, and Thor plays some of them with me, but I haven’t tried most of them.” I eagerly jumped over the couch and sat in front of the T.V. and picked up the stack of unopened games.

“Legend of Zelda, Super Mario, Minecraft, L— _Lego Batman_?! These are all for little kids! Except Minecraft, I guess, I mean, I don’t know . . .”

“Jane said they were games that would stimulate my conscience. I think that means it’ll help me choose right from wrong.”

“Whatever, Zelda’s cool, I used to play that.”

“Jane said only one person can play that at a time.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna teach you how to play it. Okay, take this.” I handed him the Wii remote.

It was nearly three in the morning by the time I noticed he was getting sleepy.

“Okay, okay, kill that guy,” I instructed. He swung the remote and nearly hit himself in the head. “Now pull up your map. Let’s go left, into that door there. Okay, go to that statue, click ‘save and quit’.”

“Quit? But I’m not finished yet!”

“We’ll start at the same spot next time, okay? Right now you need to get some sleep.”

 


	5. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony shows up drunk off his rocker and makes Loki take care of him.

I did not know why I was so upset that Stark hadn’t shown up. Scratch that—I knew why I was so upset, but it was an illegitimate excuse, and I was not yet at the point where I would willingly admit to having feelings for the man. Besides, Stark came and went as he pleased, as he put it, “unexpected.”

Still, it always made me nervous when he didn’t come for a few days. I needed him, whether or not I was willing to admit it. The visits from Thor were nice, but he hadn’t come today. I didn’t know why, maybe they were fighting crime or something, but it was the first time he ever missed a day, and it was putting me on edge.

All kinds of thoughts ran through my impressive head: were they dead? Were they captured somewhere? Were they tiring of me? My wrist stung. Too deep, I had gone too deep this time. Thor would kill me if I bled to death from self inflicted wounds. Well, I suppose he could not kill me, but he had stuck by me through my worst, still called me ‘brother’ after practically losing my mind and trying to take over the world, and he deserved more than to clean up the messy, accidental suicide of the person he had tried so hard to save.

I rubbed at the bandages, refusing to heal myself. This was what I deserved, I needed to be punished. If I wasn’t, I might forget what I was really worth, and do something stupid like try to take over Midgard again.

Something crashed hard against my balcony. Stark usually landed softer, but I wasn’t surprised when he stumbled into the door, giggling like a drunken idiot.

“Hey, Loks, I was just thinking about you!” he said, looking surprised when he saw me. The suit started to collapse into a bracelet on his wrist and he plopped onto the couch. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m here.”

“No, not really.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you,” he said, starting to sob slightly. “Pepper finally dumped my ass . . . she’s moving out as we speak.”

“Pepper, she’s . . . you’re lover?”

“Was. She walked in today like she owned the place and told me she wanted to see other people. Ha! See other people . . . what do you think she’d think if she knew I was seeing _you_! Ha ha ha!”

I sank into the couch. This news was upsetting. He had a lover, even if they were no longer together, and he loved her. You can’t love two people. Well, I don’t know if you can, but I’m not going to share my Tony with anyone ever. Of course, that won’t be much of a problem. Tony would never like me, anyways.

“And then guess what? Go on, guess! Okay, I’ll tell you! She’s still gonna work for me, and she’s like, ‘it won’t be weird, I promise!’ Whatever, right?”

“Right,” I said solemnly.

“Hey, whassa matter? You get dumped, too?”

“No, Stark, I did not get ‘dumped.’”

“You’re just grumpy. You should start drinking, I feel great!”

“You were crying a moment ago,” I pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter.” He miraculously pulled a bottle of scotch from nowhere and gulped from it. I took it from him and put it on the table. “Hey, man, wha-what are you doing? I need that!” He climbed on top of me and scrambled to reach it, but I pulled it away from him. “Why you gotta be so damn tall?” He stopped and looked at me for a long time. “You’re pretty.”

“ _You_ are drunk.”

“So? We can still do stuff!”

“Stark!” I growled as he tried to press his lips sloppily to mine, missing and kissing my neck. “ . . . Stark?” a soft snore erupted from his chest.

“Ich,” I said, pushing his drooling face off of me. He flopped onto the other side of the couch. “I could really do things to you in this state, Mr. Stark,” I told his unconscious form. “It’s a shame that I’m trying to go straight, really.”

 


	6. Hungover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's hungover and Loki meets Jarvis

I groaned even before opening my eyes.

Analysis: Skull splitting headache: either we got the crap kicked out of us by some villain (unlikely) or I got crazy drunk last night.

Warm body lying on top of me: I got laid.

Whoa: This is not my bed: We went to her house, and that was bad. I never went to their house. I always took them to mine.

I cracked my eyes open and observed my surroundings. This looked familiar . . .wait, this was _Loki’s_ apartment!

I heard a soft sigh and looked down at the god cuddling my chest. He looked so sweet and peaceful . . . I stroked his hair absently and he hummed softly.

Yes, I had grown feelings for him. I have no trouble admitting it to myself, mostly because I’m sure it’s just the stress of my relationship problems with Pepper pushing me towards him. After all, no other man had made me feel this way. And in a way, no woman had, either. I felt different with him, like I could just _be_ , and I didn’t have to be Tony or Mr. Stark or Iron Man. I didn’t even think of myself; all of my attention was on the beautiful man.

And he _was_ beautiful. He had smooth ebony hair, green eyes that sparkled like jewels, and flawless porcelain skin. He was tall and lean, slender but not thin. He always wore long sleeves and thick, dark clothes, but I bet he was well toned. His voice was like silk. Or satin, I’ve never really understood the difference. I’ll have to get a sample of each and compare them.

Schadenfreude suddenly jumped up on Loki’s back and purred. I cringed and groaned when he let out a high-pitched meow. Loki stirred and groaned quietly, eyes fluttering open.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” I grumbled irritably, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“You seem cheery,” he mumbles, and I noticed he was still hugging my chest.

“What happened last night?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. Loki sat up and looked at me with that sexy sneaky sexy sex look he has.

“If I tell you, what will you give me in return?”

“Well, what do you want?”

“Just a small favor. Nothing too difficult, I just need you to keep Thor busy tomorrow and don’t let him come over.”

“Why, are you going to try to take over Midgard again?”

“No, of course not.”

“Well, sure then, as long as you don’t do anything evil,” I said, knowing it was probably a stupid idea.

“Deal,” he said, shaking my hand.

“So, what did I do last night?”

“You showed up around midnight incredibly drunk, cried to me about Pepper leaving you, and passed out on the couch.

“Really? That’s all?” I asked, relieved. I hoped to the gods I hadn’t come on to him. I would die if he found out I liked him.

“Yeah, almost.”

“What? What else did I do?”

“You started guzzling down scotch and tried to kiss me, then I did unspeakable things to your unconscious body.”

“What—really?!”

“No, but I thought about it. You did try to kiss me, though.” I groaned and buried my face in my hands. Loki started to say something, but my stomach lurched, and I ran into his bathroom and heaved into the toilet.

“Stark . . . are you alright?” Loki asked worriedly.

“Fine, I’m fine, go away—” I choked out before heaving again. Loki sat next to me and stroked my back comfortingly while I emptied my guts out. When I was finished, I collapsed on the floor. The cool tile felt good on my feverish skin.

“Stark, come up here and rinse your mouth out,” he commanded, tugging on me.

“Ugh, I don’t want to move,” I whined, but let him lift me up. He handed me a small plastic cup already filled with water. “My head is killing me,” I complained after gargling a few times.

“Look at me,” he said sternly, putting a finger on my chin to turn my face toward him. He stroked my hair with his long, elegant fingers, and I stared into his eyes.

His irises were shiny and still, with intricate facets like a jewel, but as I watched, they began to move like a thick green liquid, twisting and turning slowly. I felt the pain in my head replaced with pleasure, like he was stroking my brain. His irises stilled and he removed his fingers from my hair, and I sighed at the loss of contact.

“That was awesome,” I breathed.

“You’d better go home.”

“No, it’s too early, people will see me and get suspicious.”

“Mm. You should shower then. Thor always said a hot bath was the best remedy for a hangover.”

“He’s obviously never had one of your brain massages.”

I took my time in the shower, letting the warm water wash over me. When I got out, I dried off with a very fluffy towel and got dressed. In the living room, Loki was reading a pamphlet that came with the Legend of Zelda game. I picked up my phone and saw that I had 6 messages from Pepper alone, and four from the other Avengers.

“Loki, I’m gonna call Pepper real fast, okay?”

“Okay.” I dialed her number and it only rang once before Pepper started lecturing me about running away just because she was moving out.

“I’m sorry, Pep . . . no. I’ll be home late tonight. . . I know, I just went out to cool off . . . No, I’ll be back tonight. . . Because, I don’t want anyone to see me! . . . It’s not a secret, Pepper, jeez! I gotta go . . . okay . . . no it’s fine, I swear . . . oka- okay . . . ‘kay bye!” I hung up and collapsed onto the couch.

“What are you going to do when Thor gets here?” Loki asked.

“I don’t know, hide under your bed? He doesn’t snoop around too much, does he?”

“No, but you really have to stay hidden. I’m trying to gain his trust, and it’s not going to help if he finds out I’m hiding his friends in my bedroom.”

“Ugh, I have a horrible taste in my mouth.”

“I have some juice in the fridge if you’d like.” In the fridge, I found a shelf full of Gatorade, a shelf full of cheese, and a shelf full of fruits. I had a feeling Thor was responsible for this. I grabbed a Fruit Punch Gatorade, but something amongst the fruit caught my eye. I picked it up and found that it looked like an apple, only golden and heavy.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Don’t eat that.”

“Really?” I teased, opening my mouth and putting it to my lips. Loki sat up straighter.

“Stark, don’t!”

“Why not?”

“That’s what makes us Asgardians immortal.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Loki stood up and took the fruit from me.

“It’s worse than you think,” he said before taking a bite and walking back to the couch with it. I followed him with my Gatorade.

“So, what’s with all the juice, fruit, and cheese?”

“Thor got it. My entire kitchen is full of things I liked on Asgard and things Thor likes from here. Especially sweets. I love sweets, and Midgard has a surprisingly good supply. On Tuesday, we made cookies.”

“You made cookies and you didn’t give me any?”

“You haven’t been here since Monday, Stark,” he said slightly solemnly.

“But it’s only, what, Thursday?”

“Saturday.”

“Oh . . . I’ll have to get Jarvis to remind me more often.” That seemed to spike his interest.

“Who is Jarvis?”

“He’s and Artificial Intelligence system I made. He’s on my phone, would you like to meet him?” He nodded enthusiastically. I picked up my phone and opened it. “Jarvis, you there?”

“Of course, sir, where else would I be?” Loki gaped at the foreign device.

“Jarvis, this is Loki. Loki, Jarvis.”

“It’s a pleasure to officially meet you, sir. Mr. Stark has been talking about you in his sleep for a while now.”

“What? I don’t talk in my sleep,” I said laughing humorlessly.

“Would you like me to show you the security footage?”

“Ha ha, no thank you Jarvs,” I laughed. “He’s just kidding around.” I cleared my throat uncomfortably, but Loki seemed undeterred. “So, Jarvs, you got any words of wisdom for my friend here?”

“Oh, I have many words of wisdom for him, though most are quite inappropriate just now.” I burst out laughing at that, but noticed that Loki had gone quiet, and was fiddling with the apple core in his hands.

“Come on, Loks, Jarvis was just kidding,” I said, feeling really bad for laughing and putting the phone in my pocket.

“Yeah.”

“So, what’s the matter?” I punched his arm playfully, trying to lighten the mood. He looked up at me slowly, as if he were deciding what to say.

“Are we . . . really _friends_?” I was a little taken aback by the question.

“Well, sure, I mean, friends are people who do stuff together and enjoy each other’s company. That sounds like us, right?” He looked back at the apple core with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“I’ve never had a friend before.”

“Wha- _never_? Not even when you were a kid?”

“Sometimes Thor let me follow him and his friends around, but they hated me.”

“In that case, I’m honored to be your first true friend,” I said shaking his hand. He sat up straight suddenly, looking at his watch and exclaiming something in another language. Which was pretty hot.

“English, please.”

“Thor! He’s early!” He stood up and pushed me to the bedroom.

“How do you know?”

“I can hear him stomping up the stairs, just stay in here and _be quiet_!” He shut the door behind me and not a moment later, someone knocked on the front door.

 

 


	7. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor visits Loki and they hang

“BROTHER!” Thor shouted, wrapping me in his big, meaty arms. “YOU MUST FORGIVE ME FOR MY ABSENCE YESTERDAY!”

“I-I forgive you!” I choked out. He dropped me as Jane shut the door behind her.

“He insisted we come early as recompense,” she said, patting him affectionately.

“You know, you don’t have to come every day,” I said, hinting that he needn’t come tomorrow. “I can take care of myself.” Thor sat heavily on the couch with Jane leaning against him. I sat on the other edge as far away as possible.

“I hate to think of you here all alone. So tell me, brother, what is new?” I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“Nothing is new, brother. I have hardly moved from this spot since you were last here!” Thor just beamed at me. Not matter how many times I told him that I forgave him, that I still wanted to be his brother, he acted like his life got new meaning every time I called him that.

“No matter. I have news for you!”

“Oh, an explanation as to your absence, perhaps?” I said airily, secretly being a little upset that he had not called.

“The Avenger’s and I had to fight . . . _an evil villain!_ ” he said as though it was the most interesting news in the nine realms. “But that is not my news. The Man of Iron is missing!”

I put a hand to my mouth and pretended to gasp sarcastically. Thor narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“ _You_ wouldn’t happen to know of his whereabouts, would you?”

“Have you checked the local bars and clubs?” I said icily, perhaps a little begrudgingly. These feelings for Tony were beginning to get out of hand.

“Lady Potts said he does not wish to be seen, so she does not believe he is out in public.”

“Oh, well then, obviously he is hiding somewhere in my apartment,” I said sarcastically.

“Maybe he is,” Jane said stupidly. “Maybe he’s spying on you, and he’s waiting for you to fall asleep before he leaves!”

“Quite stealthy, isn’t he?” I said, yawning.

“WE MUST SEARCH FOR HIM!” Thor shouted, standing suddenly and dislodging Jane. I failed to suppress a small chuckle at her expense.

I sat on the couch while my brother scrutinized every corner of my apartment and Jane followed him around trying to convince him he was being silly.

“He is not hiding in my sink,” I stated factually as he repeatedly flipped the switch that made a loud noise. I decided long ago that it was useless. “You _could_ check the bedroom, considering that is the most likely place he’d be.”

“Loki, don’t talk to him like that,” Jane scolded.

“Of course, mother,” I snarled, following Thor into my bedroom. Tony stood against the wall holding his breath, but Thor couldn’t see him. He looked at me, clearly confused, as my brother searched my entire room. I winked at him and held a finger to my lips, hopefully indicating that Thor could still hear him. Thor stood suddenly and clapped me hard on the shoulder.

“Worry not, brother. The Man of Iron is nowhere to be seen!”

“Oh, what a relief!” I sighed sarcastically. A sound _smack_ erupted from the door way, and we turned to see Jane with a hand on her head looking confused. She put out a fist and wrapped gently on the invisible barrier.

“What is this?”

“Sorry, you’re not allowed in my room. No girls allowed.” To emphasize my point, I magicked a sign on my door that says so. Jane huffed indignantly.

“Why not?!” I put my hand on my chest and pretended to be offended.

“Why, Jane, how scandalous of you to suggest that I would have a female in my bed chambers!”

“Brother, why do you not allow Lady Jane in here?” Thor asked seriously.

“Because, _brother_ , I have a hard enough time allowing _you_ in here! You _know_ I hate when people go in my room!”

“I know,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me out to the living room, “but Jane will not touch any of your things.” I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to see Tony covering his mouth and shaking with laughter.

“Thor,” Jane said suddenly, holding up her phone, “I’ve got to go to work.” Thor looked back and forth between us for a moment. He is rather slow.

“Uh, I could spend the night! You could pick me up tomorrow!” My face fell. That sounded . . . nice. Just a night with my over affectionate brother, just the two of us . . . but Tony was still here, so I had to get rid of him.

“No, no, Thor, I . . . would like some privacy tonight, if you don’t mind,” I said quietly. Jane looked at me suspiciously, but I think Thor was just glad I was being civil.

“ . . . Some other time, then?” I smiled at him.

“Definitely.”

 

 


	8. Guys night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony keeps his promise

“ **With nobody in your bed, the night’s hard to get through.”  
-Jesus Christ, Brand New**

I was so not used to waking up alone. I was usually up before Pepper, and when I wasn’t, she would watch me sleep until I awoke. She always said that was my best time; when I was asleep, and then just waking up. Then I would ruin it by remarking on the bags under her eyes, the quality of sex last night, or ranking my hangover on a scale of one to ten.

She used to laugh at that, but not anymore.

I never noticed how cold my bed was without Pepper. I curled up under the sheets, suddenly freezing, and let a small tear roll over my face. She didn’t realize just how much she really meant to me.

I had never felt so alone in my life. I had run out of people who loved me, again, but this time was so much worse. I wanted to stay in bed all day and drink until I forgot my own name.

“Jarvis, get me some scotch,” I mumbled groggily.

“A bit early, even for you, don’t you think?” Jarvis replied. I scowled.

“You’re my AI, not my conscience, just do what I say!”

“Yes, sir.” If I didn’t know any better, and I did, I’d swear he sighed pitifully. But he can’t sigh. Or, at least, he shouldn’t.

I looked over and found a glass of golden liquid on my bedside table, and I downed it in one go, just as Pepper came in my door, all decked out in her personal assistant garb.

“Drinking already? Are you _trying_ to kill yourself?”

“Just because we used to sleep together doesn’t mean you can come barging in here telling me what to do,” I growled, holding out my glass for a refill.

“Come on, Tony, I need your help. Contrary to popular belief, I _can’t_ run this company by myself.”

“Jarvis can forge my signature.” I went to take another drink, but Pepper pulled the glass out of my hand.

“Tony, don’t be upset. You’ll find someone else, I promise.” As soon as she said that, an image of Loki popped into my head. I sighed heavily. I wasn’t in love with Loki, no way. I wanted to love him, was just drawn to him by my problems with Pepper.

Still . . . would it be so bad if I indulged my desire for him, just until I got my head on straight? I wouldn’t _use_ him, of course. I would just hang around him as much as I could. And think about him constantly. And touch him every chance I could. I mean NO! NO TOUCHY!

Speaking (or rather, thinking,) of Loki, I did promise him I would keep Thor busy today.

“Jarvs, pull up a video-chat conference with Thor, Clint, Caps, and Brucie.”

“Yes sir!” Was it just me, or did he have a better attitude suddenly?

Four windows popped up, showing a very surprised Thor, an irritated Clint, Capsicle in the gym, and Bruce in the lab.

“What, Tony?” Clint said irritably.

“We’re having a guys day! No girls allowed! And no backing out! Get ready and meet me in the living room!”

“What? I’m busy!” Steve complained, looking over at the worn punching bags.

“Oh, whatever, you guys do the same thing every day! It’s time for some action!” I said enthusiastically.

“We don’t get enough action battling super villains?” Bruce said.

“Not _bad_ action, _fun_ action! Geez, you guys are so dull! If you don’t come have some fun with me, I’ll just find other people to hang out with!”

“Count me out—” Clint started.

“Wait,” Bruce interrupted. “I don’t trust Tony alone, especially when he’s drunk. We are _all_ going.”

They all groaned (except Thor, I don’t think he really knew what was going on) and the screen shut off. I got dressed in my snappiest clubbing suit and danced to Jarvis’s blaring music all the way to the living room, where Natasha was making coffee.

“Hey, beautiful,” I said, giddy from the fifth glass of scotch in my hand. “I know you’re a girl, but you could do our guy’s night with us if you want.”

“Sorry, love to, but I’ve got a date,” she said, smiling a little.

“Uh-oh, don’t tell Clint, he still thinks you two are an item.” She smirked at me and took my scotch.

“We are, it’s not that kind of date,” she said before taking a drink and leaving. Steve and Bruce came in then, and I rushed over to them.

“Captain!” I said, saluting him. “Science bro! Are you ready to blow up the town?”

“Are you drunk?” Steve asked.

“Just buzzed, gramps. It’s all good.” I got another drink, already losing count.

“Funny,” Bruce said, “for a guy who just got dumped, you seem really . . . _not depressed_.”

“You can’t live in the past, Brucie. Besides, I have a promise to keep.” They suddenly looked at me suspiciously.

“What promise?” Clint said.

“Whoa, when did you get here?”

“Never mind,” Bruce said, pulling my face to him. “What promise?”

“I’ve already said too much!” I giggled, dancing away from them. Clint caught me and put an arm around me, handing me a glass of alcohol.

“It’s alright, you can tell us anything. Here, have another drink.”

“Oh, I really shouldn’t,” but I took the drink anyway.

“Clint, don’t,” Steve scolded.

“What, I’m just being nice. Have another drink, Tony. Now, what promise?”

“What promise?” asked, wobbling a little.

“You made a promise, remember?”

“Yeah, gotta keep the promise.”

“What promise?”

“‘Don’t let Thor come over tomorrow. Keep him busy.’”

“Who did you promise this to?” Steve asked, suddenly interested.

“Heh heh heh, not telling! It’s a secret!” I started laughing and fell out of my seat, making me laugh harder. I tried to take another drink from Clint, but Bruce took it away.

“Come on, guys, he can’t even stand up straight!” Then the elevator door opened with Thor inside. He looked relieved when he saw us. To make a long story shorter, we went to a club and I can’t remember anything else.

 

 


	9. Day off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki goes out and enjoys some of the wonders of Midgard

I spent the whole day outside. I had been in that apartment since I came to Midgard, I hadn’t even looked out my window. I found that Midgard was rather pleasant. First, I walked to a coffee shop. The sweets and drinks smelled and tasted wonderful, and I was entertained by the conversations between the mortals.

I spent the afternoon in the library. Midgardian literature turned out to be incredibly entertaining. I read a lot of classics and a few newer novels, and decided I would have to come back for more some time.

I spent the evening at the park. At first, I really enjoyed myself. I could smell the plants, and there was a cool breeze in the air. Children played around a pond with ducks, a girl sat under a tree with several books and papers, and several people jogged past.

The thing that ruined my mood was the amount of _couples_ I saw. People with flowers and coffee, kissing and holding hands, talking about unimportant things. I was so jealous of them. I was even jealous of the few I saw fighting. “At least you have someone to fight with,” I wanted to tell them. I went home at sundown, grabbed my knife, and sat in my room on my bed.

The only satisfaction I get out of life anymore was pain. It dulled my mind and made me stop thinking of things that I didn’t want to think about.

 


	10. Attempted Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki cuts himself again, with much more ill-intent

**Loki’s POV, in case it was too ambiguous.**

I didn’t have the energy to move. The despair and self-loathing were like weights pressing down on me from all directions. I was so alone. I didn’t belong anywhere. Many people had these thoughts. Everyone felt at some time that they didn’t belong, that they were unimportant and unloved. So what made my situation different?

The simple fact that it was true. I really didn’t belong anywhere. I heard once of a family that felt they didn’t belong because they were bi-racial, so they were unwelcome among the blacks as well as the whites. That was a long time ago, and now such problems were inconsequential, but those children _did_ belong. They belonged together, they belonged in that family, and they belonged on Midgard.

I had no family. I was not Asgardian, and yet I was not Johtun either. I was nothing but a pest. No one loved me. My foolish brother was blinded by duty: you were supposed to love your brother. My father hated me, my mother hated me, my only friend, Tony, hated me, no matter how much they denied it.

I had no place. I should have been left to die like all the other weak Johtuns. I wasn’t accepted by my true father, why should anyone else accept me?

My one talent, magic, was useless and looked down upon. I thought I could do amazing things with it, but it didn’t matter how many foes I vanquished, how many lives I saved, the fact that I had used magic to do so made it a crime.

I have called myself ‘smart’ on more than one occasion, but I was not even that. I was _stupid_ to think that I could ever be anything but a nuisance. I was _foolish_ to think that wisdom and magic would hold any sort of credit on Asgard. I would have been better off an unlearned weakling that was incapable of lifting a goblet than as a sorcerer.

I was not strong, not attractive, and not powerful like Thor. Oh, all my problems would be solved if I were anything like Thor. He was perfect. Perhaps that was the way it was meant to be. Everything must have an opposite, and so I existed, to balance the perfection that was Thor. Anyway, I couldn’t distinguish which was more extreme; Thor’s perfection or my atrocity.

I hated myself, and yet, I was the most selfish person in existence. So, why not? Why couldn’t I end this life like I so wanted to? The only thing that would be any problem was Thor having to pick up the pieces of my death. If I was so selfish, I shouldn’t care about him and just do what I’ve wanted to do for so long.

On the other hand, if I were _not_ so selfish, I would have to die anyway, to appease all creatures ever to exist. It only made sense; only good could come from my death. So, why didn’t I do it? Was I afraid? Just like me to be afraid of death! I was _weak_ and _pathetic_! My life’s choices were based on knowledge and logic, and here I stood in the face of reason, _afraid_!

I dug the knife in as far as I possibly could. It hurt so bad I started shaking violently. Just a little longer. Blood stained the sheets, dark and wet, and I looked down at the cuts on my arm. I didn’t even remember moving on to the other arm. It was horrible, but it was a small price to pay. It was almost over. Almost . . .

 


	11. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds Loki and they make THE DEAL

**Tony’s POV**

I couldn’t help the small smile that graced my (gorgeous) lips as I flew to Loki’s apartment. I wondered what he had done all day yesterday, and I could use one of his hangover-cures. Not to mention that I had gotten up at 5:30 with a hangover just to see him. However, when I got to his balcony, something seemed . . . off. It was early, so he was probably asleep, logically no reason to be put off by the darkness and silence. I jumped suddenly as Schadenfruede appeared in the doors and started mewling and sliding his paws down the glass in distress.

“Maybe Loki just forgot to feed him,” I thought to myself, entering the dark apartment. The cat then ran to Loki’s closed bedroom door and started behaving in the same way. I went over there and picked him up, wrapping gently on the door. “Loki? Are . . . are you okay?” What a stupid question. He was probably just asleep! Still, I was weary when I opened the door.

Sure enough, I had reason to be worried. Loki lay in the center of his small bed, curled up unnaturally, breathing haggardly, in a large pool of dark, sticky blood. I dropped the cat in horror and ran over to him, shaking his shoulder and calling out to him. He clutched tighter to a bloody knife in his hand and groaned.

“ . . . Tony? . . . Are we dead?”

“What? No! No, we’re not dead, you’re not dead, you’re going to be fine. Just—can you sit up?” I pulled him (somewhat unwillingly) into a sitting position and leaned him against me and the wall behind his bed. Loki looked at his wrists, sporting deep gashes that had mostly stopped bleeding.

“Loki, why did you do this?!” I asked hysterically. “What were you thinking, are you crazy?! How could you do this to me? And what about Thor? He risked his neck to save your life, and you’re just gonna throw it away?” He started weakly shoving me away.

“Leave me alone,” he sobbed, “I can do whatever I want to!”

“Loki, how could you do this to me?” I said again, ignoring his pathetic attempts to dislodge himself from me. “No, no, I forbid you from doing this! You will not hurt yourself anymore!”

“Stupid . . . stupid Stark. . . You can’t tell me what to do.” I held him close to me and rocked him back and forth until his mind was clearer.

“Loki, don’t ever do that to me again, okay? I _need_ you . . . I need you.”

“No you don’t. Get off of me; I don’t have to listen to you. You’re so stupid, you just think you can come in here and order me around, tell me not to do things, but _you_ can do them, _you_ can do things that you won’t let me do.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t cut myself, _or_ try to kill myself!” He chuckled darkly, though still groggy from the loss of blood.

“Don’t you? Just because it’s socially acceptable doesn’t mean it isn’t bad. It is what it is, Stark, and you are drinking yourself into an early grave.”

“Oh, so that’s what this is about? My _drinking_? That is completely different!”

“No, no, it’s not. It hurts you, Stark. Do you have any idea how scared I was when you started throwing up in my bathroom? I was so scared . . . even Thor doesn’t throw up when he’s drunk. On Asgard, throwing up is a sign of serious illness! I thought you were dying!”

“Well, I wasn’t, okay? It happens all the time on Midgard.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m sure it’s just as unpleasant.” I huffed indignantly. It was completely different!

“My drinking is in no way comparable to cutting yourself, that’s just, just horrible!”

“Name one way drinking is better than cutting yourself,” he challenged, but I noticed he was no longer pushing away from me, and instead nestling sleepily against my chest.

“Well . . . drinking is . . . _fun._ People _enjoy_ drinking.” He chuckled darkly again, really creeping me out.

“You think I don’t _enjoy_ cutting myself? Come now, Stark, you know I’m far too selfish to hurt myself if I wasn’t getting some sort of pleasure from it.”

“You have a sick sense of pleasure.”

“Think about it, Stark: what about drinking makes you feel so euphoric? As a scientist, you should know that it’s basically a lack of oxygen to the brain, because your blood is too full of alcohol. When I lose blood, the same thing happens: lack of oxygen to the brain. It makes me forget things that I want to forget.” I glared at the wall ahead of me. He _wasn’t_ right, but I couldn’t make any argument. It wasn’t the same, it just _wasn’t_! This must be why he’s called the Lie Smith; not so much because he lies, but because he twists the truth so convincingly.

I knew what would make him stop. I really didn’t want to do it, but weighing the pros and cons, there was just no question. “Alright . . . fine,” I said slowly, trying not to over think it. “What if I . . . make you a deal?”

“What kind of deal?”

“I . . . I promise to stop drinking, if you promise you won’t hurt yourself anymore.” He sat up slowly, looking at me in surprise.

“You . . . you would do that for me?” he choked out, starting to cry. It broke my heart, but at least they seemed like happy tears.

“Yeah, of course.” He suddenly collapsed onto my chest and hugged me tightly, sobbing heavily.

“I love you, Tony.”

“I love you, too.”

 


	12. Giving up drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony stops drinking and it's harder than he thought

I strutted into the living room of Stark tower with determination, and a growing sense of euphoria with the new knowledge of Loki’s affection for me. He had fallen asleep in my arms, mumbling quietly and contently. I left him a note in case he wondered where I’d gone, but I wanted to get home before I was missed.

Anyway, I strutted into the living room around 9 o’clock. Clint, Natasha, Pepper, and Steve were in there, and they looked up at me, probably confused because I was never up this early. I ignored them and headed to the kitchen.

“Jarvis, get rid of all of my alcohol. All of it. Don’t let me buy anymore. If I get it as a gift, get rid of it, and if you ever catch me drinking again, stop me.”

“Sir, have you been abusing narcotics?”

“No, I am as clear as ever. And I’m putting you in charge of making sure I stop drinking.” I poured some coffee in a mug, and looked up to see everyone staring at me. “What?”

Pepper walked up to me and took the mug. She was looking at me like I had lost my mind. “Tony, what are you doing?”

“What? I’m giving up drinking! You’ve been bugging me to do that for years!”

“Exactly! Why the sudden change?” I put my hand on my heart and twirled dramatically.

“Let’s just say, I’ve met someone! Someone that made me an offer I could not refuse!”

“What offer? Who? When do we get to meet her?” Clint asked. I glowered at him, but I supposed I couldn’t blame him for assuming it was a girl.

“I’m not telling, I’m not telling, and never! It’s a _secret_ relationship.”

“Friends don’t keep secrets!”

“Ridiculous! They do it all the time! That saying was made for the friends that don’t do anything interesting.” Steve stood up and clapped me on the shoulder.

“Tony, it’s not that I don’t think this is a good idea, but . . . this _is_ pretty sudden. I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll know soon enough. I’m not giving up, though. This is too important.”

Two hours later, I was in the lab, proudly working on an improved Starkphone that only needed to be recharged about once a year, and could get reception in surprisingly remote places.

“Jarvis,” I whined. “I’m thirsty!”

“What would you like me to do about it, sir?”

“I don’t know, what do people drink besides alcohol?”

“Water. Milk. Juice. Soda. Hot Chocolate. Coffee. Tea. Broth. Cider. There are a number of various powder and liquid drink mixes.”

“That sounds easy enough. All I have to do is find a new favorite drink! Jarvis, buy all the Fruit Punch Gatorade I’ll need for a week!”

“Yes, sir. Would you like me to research methods of getting over the cravings?”

“Yeah, sure.” I fiddled with a screw absently for a moment. “Well, what are they?”

“The general consensus seems to be a form of punishment in which the subject sucks on something disgustingly sour whenever they crave alcohol.”

“Then get me the most sour candy you can find! Damn, it’s getting harder by the second!”

“That would be the withdrawals, sir.”

“Damn it, I forgot about that! Jarvis, get me all the information for alcohol withdrawals you can!”

“Demanding today, aren’t we, sir?” Jarvis replied. I glared at the ceiling, but he continued before I could snap something back to him. “Typically, withdrawals are accompanied, in order of severity, by cravings, irritability, scratching, headaches, and/or vomiting.”

“Sounds like a hangover. I thought stopping drinking would stop the hangovers.”

“As soon as the withdrawals have run their course, I’m sure you’ll feel as good as ever.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I grumbled. Why the hell did I agree to this? When he wasn’t sitting in a bloody mess in front of me, cutting himself didn’t seem so bad. Maybe . . . now that his head was clearer, he would let me keep drinking . . . no, no, no backing out! I don’t break promises! Which is usually not that big of a problem because I don’t make that many promises, and the ones I do make are ones I can keep. Anyway, he seemed pretty upset about my drinking this morning.

 

 


	13. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki talk about furthering their relationship

Loki sat at the small kitchen table with a knife balanced on the tip of his finger. He stared intently at his reflection in the blade, seeming not to notice me.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, and he jumped a little, making the knife slip off of his finger and leaving a steadily growing plume of blood. Sighing, I let my suit collapse and walked over to him. We hadn’t seen each other since that night, and I was pleased to see that he was at least trying to keep up his end of the deal, but when I saw him, I was filled with overwhelming emotion, reminded of our proclamations of love to one another. Still, I was unsure of where we stood now, so I decided to take it slow.

I came up behind him as he examined his wound and put my hands on his shoulders. He sighed pleasantly under my touch and put his finger to his lips, seductively sucking off the rogue blood. I pulled his finger away, a small puncture visible for a moment before more red liquid blossomed from it, slower now.

“Let me kiss it better,” I breathed before carefully bringing it to my lips. Now both our lips were stained with his blood, like a physical representation of our vow to each other. Loki looked at it and sighed despairingly.

“It didn’t work,” he said equally quiet. I smiled fondly at the discouraged expression he gave the small cut. I sat next to him, on one of my legs so I could sit taller than him, and held his hand again.

“Mortals can’t heal with kisses, I’m afraid,” I told him affectionately. “We just do that to make the person feel better, to show them that we care about them.” To my surprise (and elation), he cuddled into my shoulder.

“Thank you. I can heal myself.” I looked at his troubled expression. I stroked and kissed his hair.

“You know, playing with knives is probably not going to help you stop . . . uh, well, you shouldn’t play with knives.” He sighed and leaned into me heavily.

“It’s harder than I thought it would be. I want it so bad, worse than before, and I keep scratching myself in my sleep.”

“I’ll help you. It’s hard for me, too. We’ll help each other.” Loki made an irritated noise and pushed away from me.

“How can we help each other if you’re never here? I wish you could stay with me always!”

“You know why we can’t do that; it’s for your own safety. If you got caught, you’d be taken away and . . .” I gulped down the lump growing in my throat from the thought, “and I won’t ever get to see you again.”

“I know, I just _wish_. . . Thor is spending the night here tomorrow, so you can’t come over.” I sat up straighter as an idea struck my brain; a feeling I was quite used to.

“Why don’t we tell Thor?!”

“Stark—”

“No, I’m serious! Maybe he’d be happy, and then I could visit you with him, and I could come more often!” Loki thought about that for a long time.

“It would be nice if he knew . . . Stark, you’ll have to tell him. I mean, he trusts me, but he is cautious about doing so, with good reason. I think it would be better if you told him. And, will you wait to tell him until he leaves here the day after tomorrow?”

“Of course!” I said, hugging him tightly, but he stiffened in my arms.

“Tony . . .” I stiffened, too. He never called me Tony, except for that night. “Please don’t tell him I . . . hurt myself.”

“I won’t. I promise.” He stood up then and, with the speed of a god, was curled up on the couch around a very surprised kitten. I chuckled and sat on the floor in front of them.

“Stark, if I get caught, will you take care of our cat?”

“Oh, he’s _our_ cat now, is he?” Loki nodded, scratching the kitty behind his ears. I wanted to tell him that he wasn’t going to get caught, that I wouldn’t need to take care of him, but I knew that wasn’t what he needed to hear. “For sure I will.”

“Thank you, Stark.”

“If you don’t start calling me ‘Tony,’ I’ll start calling you Odinson!”

“That’s _not_ my name.”

“Right, whatever, then what’s your biological father’s name?” Loki sighed.

“Laufey, but that’s not my name either. It’s just Loki.”

“You can’t _choose_ your name, just like you can’t _choose_ your family,” I said with finality, smirking.

“I wish _you_ were my family.” Damn. My smirk fell.

“Well, you can choose people to be _in_ your family, you just can’t kick people out.”

“Will you be my family?”

“I will be _in_ your family, yes.” He sat up straight, still cuddling Schadenfruede.

“I don’t care what you say. My family is you and Thor.” The kitty started mewling and kneading his sleeve. “And you, Schadenfruede. You can be my family, too.” The kitten yawned, with Loki yawning right after, suddenly looking sleepy.

 


	14. Cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki's sleepover!

**Thor’s POV**

Loki smiled at me when he opened the door! He actually smiled! I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him off the ground until he started squirming and choking, a common reaction to one of my hugs.

“Brother! You look so happy today!” I commented as he shut the door. He blushed, as he always does when his feelings are brought up. I remember him once telling me he was going to have them removed. I think he was joking. I don’t think you can have your feelings removed.

“Yes, I know,” he said. I pulled him to the couch and sat him down.

“So, what have you been doing here all this time?”

“Playing with my cat,” he replied. Said cat jumped up on his lap and started purring while we both pet him. “I made him a toy. Some fluff came out of the couch cushion, and I tied a little string around it so it looks like a mouse. He likes to chase it around while I read.”

“Hey, speaking of reading, I have brought you more books!” I exclaimed, lifting Jane’s canvas bag onto the couch. Loki smiled and twiddled his fingers excitedly. I think he reads too much.

“Cinderella?” he said, excitedly grabbing one of the books from my bag. “I have heard this story!”

“Yes, it is very popular here,” I said, a little discouraged because I wanted to get him books he hadn’t read before.

“I didn’t know there was a whole book about it. Thank you, brother.” I beamed at him for calling me ‘brother’.

“Yes, Midgard has a lot of books about castles and princesses and heroes. Jane said you have to read those ones because they are ‘classics’. That means everybody knows about them,” I said, proud to know something he didn’t, which wasn’t bad because we both knew I knew very few things he didn’t. Loki stretched and yawned, alarming me.

“Loki! It is not yet midday, how can you be tired? Have you been staying up all night playing video games again?”

“Yes. Sorry. It is very entertaining, and I forget to watch the time.”

“It’s okay, brother. I just hope you are getting enough sleep.” Loki hugged his new books protectively to his chest and took them to his room to put them away. “I want to play some video games with you! I have been practicing Super Mario at the tower!” I called to him.

“Okay.” I smiled to myself as he came in and set it up. True to my brother’s word, it was very entertaining, and I didn’t notice the time until my stomach rumbled.

“I am famished! How long have we been playing?” He looked at the watch I had given him and sighed.

“Nearly three and a half hours,” he replied, saving the game. “I told you it was hard to keep track of time.”

“Yes yes. Let’s bake something sweet! That was fun last time!” I bounded over to the kitchen and opened the Cupboard of Things We Bake in the Oven, as Jane calls it. Sort of. “Let’s bake cupcakes! They are like cake, only tiny, so everyone can have their own little cake!”

“Yes, I know what cupcakes are. Do you think we can do it without Jane?” His innocent inquisition reminded me of when we were little, and he would follow my friends and I around when we went on adventures.

“I’m sure we can, there are instructions on the back. Look: strawberry, chocolate, pumpkin, and lemon! Which ones should we make?”

“Um, I don’t know, they all sound good. . .”

“Then we will make them all!” I started pulling out the boxes and putting them on the counter. Loki picked one up and began reading the directions.

“Brother, each box makes 32 cupcakes!” he said. “We cannot eat that many!”

“I will take extras to my friends at Stark tower, and you can save some for yourself.”

“If we make all four boxes, we will have 128 cupcakes, Thor! Maybe we should only make half of each box.”

“Right! Then we will have . . .” I started trying to count them on my fingers, but Loki pushed my hand down.

“64. Let me handle the math, you just mix the ingredients I tell you to.” It took the whole afternoon to make them. Loki took too long making sure each measurement was precise. My favorite part was putting the frosting on them, except, of course, for the part when we got to eat them.

“Thor, slow down, or you will be sick!”

“Don’t be silly, Loki! How can anything so delicious make you ill?” He rolled his eyes and took another dainty bite of his pastry. I always thought he was very feminine, which was extremely strange for an Asgardian man. When I found out he was a Frost Giant, I thought that might be the reason, but Frost Giants don’t seem very feminine, either. He was certainly one of a kind. He got up and started packing up the cakes. “Jane let me bring some movies to watch! A movie is—”

“I know what it is! I’m going to get my pillow.” I jumped out of the kitchen and put in the first movie from my bag. Loki brought me a pillow, too, and we fell asleep together watching it. It was just like old times.

 


	15. Confessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki come out to Thor

**Tony’s POV**

I stretched in my bed and sighed before anxiously looking at the clock. 6:53. I growled and sat up. Why the hell did I want to see Loki so badly?! Just a few more hours! Then I’ll talk to Thor and spend the rest of the night with Loki.

I couldn’t get his image out of my head. He was so cute and beautiful and hot and sexy! Screw it all, I was going over there now! We could tell Thor together! I practically ran to the workshop to suit up.

“What should I tell the others if they ask where you are, sir?”

“JARVIS, I love you. Also, tell them I’m out with Thor.” By now I had suited up and was flying over the Tower to his apartment. When I got there, Loki and Thor were asleep together in front of the couch. Loki was curled up adorably with his arms around a pillow, and Thor was sprawled out on his back, his own pillow completely discarded. I gently prodded Loki, and he tensed up, gently sighing and opening his eyes.

“Stark . . .” he whispered, smiling a little. “What are you doing here?” He then looked worriedly at Thor, who jumped up violently and saw me with him.

“Man of Iron! I can explain!”

“You don’t need to,” I said, putting up a hand to calm him down. Loki rubbed his eyes sleepily.

“I thought we agreed to tell him when he left.”

“Agreed to tell me what?” Thor asked, looking between us.

“I couldn’t wait. Besides, now we can tell him together.”

“Tell me what?” Thor asked. Loki made a small whine.

“Now he will think I have put you under some sort of spell. Stark, you idiot, he will never believe me now!” I stroked his hair lovingly.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been up since five waiting to see you and I couldn’t wait anymore.”

“I demand that you tell me what is going on!” Loki patted Thor on his arm.

“Uh, well . . . Tony has something to tell you.”

“Why do _I_ have to tell him?!”

“Because you said you would!”

“Ugh, fine! Thor, old buddy, I’m sorry, but I’ve been seeing Loki for about three months now. JARVIS picked up his readings and I found him here, and I was just going to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t causing any mischief, but we sort of . . . became friends.” Thor looked at the ground, deep in thought for a while, before looking up and smiling widely.

“Then, you are friends? That is wonderful!” He wrapped Loki in a big hug, making him cough a little. “Oh, this news has filled my heart with joy! This is why you have been so much happier recently, yes?”

“Yes, Thor,” Loki choked. “But that’s not all!” Thor’s eyes widened and he pushed Loki at arm’s length.

“What? What else?”

“Nothing, I just said that so you’d let me go.” He smirked and I giggled, but I had some thoughts . . . I would need to talk to him in private later.

“Anyway,” Loki said, pulling me from my thoughts by patting my arm, “I baked you some cupcakes.”

“Yay!” I said, jumping up to go to the kitchen. Loki followed me and stopped me when I opened the fridge, pulling out an individually wrapped cake. I noticed three cake pans full of more, and the mess in the kitchen, and silently decided to make sure they didn’t bake things on their own anymore. Loki handed me the cupcake and I took off the saran wrap. It was pink with white frosting and had a little candy in the middle.

“I made this one special for you.”

“Oh my god, really?” I said, affectionate feelings bubbling up in me. “That is so cool! Thank you!” I put it down carefully and hugged him tight.

“Tony, it’s only a cupcake!” he insisted, a little taken aback by my sudden affection.

“It’s the thought that counts. So, what were you thinking about when you made this for me?”

“You, obviously. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” I jumped up and down giddily.

“Loki, you’re so cute!”

“I told you, I’m not cute! Small animals and—”

“Yeah yeah, I know, but I still think you’re cute! I’m going to do something nice for you, too!” Thor had somehow made his way to the kitchen and was stuffing his face with little cakes. Suddenly he stopped and clutched his stomach.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I have a horrible stomach ache, I don’t know why.” He put another cupcake in his mouth, still looking confused at his abdomen.

“Have you considered the eight pounds of cupcakes you’ve consumed in the last twelve hours?” Loki said quietly. Thor sighed condescendingly.

“Loki, I told you, something this good does not make you ill!” He rolled his eyes and looked at me smugly. Loki came over and took the cupcakes from him.

“You’re right, as always, Brother. The cupcakes didn’t make you sick, but the sugar in them will make your upset stomach hurt worse. Trust me, I know these things.” He rolled his eyes at me when he turned around and I suppressed a laugh.

“Well, if you say so,” Thor said, looking longingly at the cakes as he took them away.

“Ugh, I’m so sleepy!” I whined. Loki laughed lightly at me, and I always loved seeing him in a pleasant mood.

“That’s probably because it’s six o’clock in the morning.” I nodded, resting my head in my hand and closing my eyes. I remember not being able to sleep because I was so anxious, but now that that whole business was over, my restless night was catching up to me. I suddenly felt Loki’s hands on my shoulders and looked up to see him staring intently at me.

“Did you fall asleep?” he asked.

“No, I was just resting.” Thor chuckled slightly.

“Well, I asked you a question,” he said, still laughing a little. “I said, ‘We should take Loki outside today, what do you think?’” Loki scowled.

“Why do you want to take me outside?”

“Because, you are tired of being in here always! You need to get outside in the fresh air! Or at least open the drapes!”

“No! I don’t want to go outside! I like it in here with my cat!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I chimed in. “I am very recognizable, and we don’t want anyone to find him, right?”

“Well, what if he wore a disguise?”

“No, no, no! No disguises, no going outside! Besides, what if you need to go on a mission or whatever? Will you just leave me there?”

“No, I’m too tired,” I complained. “Let me sleep.” I put my head in my arms on the table, but Loki poked me hard in the side and told me to go home if I wanted to sleep.

“We should probably get back to the tower anyway, right, Stark?” Thor said, stretching. “Loki said we could take some cupcakes for our friends!”

“Aren’t they going to wonder where we got them?” I asked. Loki handed Thor two pans full of the little pastries.

“Just tell them you made them with Jane, okay?” he said smartly, pushing us out the door.

 


	16. Assuming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People assume things and Tony gets offended.

“Where were you guys?” Steve asked when the elevator door opened to the communal living room, with all of the Avenger’s plus Pepper lounging on my couches.

“None of your business, Nosy!” I said condescendingly in his direction. “However, I brought a peace offering, and you all better eat it because if they go bad I’m going to have to feed them to the Hulk.”

“What makes you think the Hulk wants to eat moldy food?” Bruce asked from behind some medical-looking magazine.

“I don’t know what the Hulk wants, I just know that these cupcakes are delicious, and you shouldn’t waste food! It makes kids in Africa jealous.”

“That’s not funny!” Steve said indignantly.

“You know what else isn’t funny? Your face! Ah, I’m sorry; I’m just bitchy since I quit drinking.” Pepper came up to me suddenly and took the pan of cakes away from me.

“Ooh, did you make these with your girlfriend?”

“Pepper!” I growled, giving her my best “Did-you-have-to-say-that-in-front-of-everyone” look.

“Tony, we all know you have a girlfriend.” Steve said matter-of-factly. What a dumb adjective. Only adjectives I make up should have that many hyphens.

“I do not have a girlfriend!”

“Well, then, who did you quit drinking for, some bartender?” Clint chimed in. I looked around for him for a moment before finding him up in the rafters, choosing not to get after him for that.

“No, obviously, because bartenders want you to keep drinking!” I said mockingly. Natasha gasped scandalously at me.

“Is it a _boyfriend?!_ ” I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment, although that was pretty true.

“No! I don’t have a _boyfriend!_ ” I grabbed a cupcake and left to my room, collapsed on the bed, and fell asleep for another few hours. I tossed and turned, dreaming about Loki meeting my friends.

_I took a big long swig of my scotch, but looked at the bottle confusedly when I felt neither the cool liquid running down my parched throat, nor the warm buzz that accompanied it. Looking around me, I saw the rest of the Avengers and Pepper lounging around._

_Suddenly, I was aware of being held in long, slender arms covered with layers of black cotton. I turned around in the arms to see Loki, perfectly at ease in the room of heroes. I panicked, trying to think of a way to sneak Loki out before they noticed him, but when I looked up, they were all glaring at me with rage._

“ _Why didn’t you tell us about him?” they screamed. “He’s evil! Kill him!”_

“ _No, no, leave him alone!” I shouted, clinging to him while they dragged him away. “Don’t hurt him! Thor, help me!” But Thor stood by, eating Pop Tarts like he didn’t even know what was going on. Then, I was looking through a window at him in that cage on the Helicarrier. He was all decked out in his black, gold, and green armor, but someone was in the cage with him._

_I watched as Clint moved closer to Loki and locked their lips together. Loki started struggling weakly, and I could hear him whimpering through the monitor. Clint pushed him down on a huge bed that had suddenly appeared there and started removing the armor from Loki’s body._

_I pounded on the glass, desperate to stop Clint. “No! NO! LET HIM GO!”_

_Loki started crying out for me, calling my name over and over._ “LEAVE HIM ALONE, PLEASE!”

I felt my body shaken violently, and was pulled from my dream. The voice that was Loki’s desperate attempts at calling for help turned into Pepper’s worried coaxing, coaxing me out of sleep.

“Tony, wake up, it’s just a dream!” she declared. I pushed her arm away from me tiredly.

“I know, I know, I’m up!” I complained.

“What were you dreaming about?” she asked, her voice full of genuine concern.

“Loki,” I blurted out without thinking.

“Loki? Why were you dreaming about him? I haven’t even thought about him since Thor stopped trying to get us to like him. Was he hurting someone?”

“What, why do you ask that?” I said somewhat irritably. How dare she just assume my Loki would hurt someone!

“Well, you kept saying things like ‘leave him alone’ and ‘let him go!’” she explained in a poor imitation of my voice.

“No, no, he was the one being hurt,” I assured her in his defense.

“Really? That’s weird. By who?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I understand. Must be weird having dreams about trying to save someone you hate.”

“Who said I hate him?” I snapped.

“W-well I just assumed—”

“Well, maybe you should keep your assumptions to yourself,” I barked, getting up. She looked a little hurt, but I didn’t let it get to me. I got up to go work in the lab until I could go see him again.

 


	17. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki talk serious

We’d been laying contently for about an hour now. At least, Loki had been; laying on my stomach watching some movie while I stroked his hair, deep in thought. I was confused, like I was when I started having feelings for Pepper. Being an engineer, I wanted to know exact measurements. Exactly how much did he love me, and in what unit of measurement? Or rather, what did he think of me? I sighed and turned off the TV, making Loki let out a confused sound.

“It wasn’t over yet, Love,” he told me, as though that was why I turned it off. I admit, I got butterflies through my core when he called me “Love” in that sexy accent of his.

“I need to talk to you,” I said seriously.

“You’re . . . you’re not leaving me, are you?”

“No, no, never. I’m just . . . a little confused about this whole situation. I mean, what are we? We’re not lovers, because we don’t, like, _do_ it. We’re not ‘just friends’ either, and we’re not like brothers. So . . . what are we?” Loki snuggled into my chest.

“I don’t know, do we have to call it anything?”

“Yes. Trust me: I watch TV, and I’ve seen ‘500 Days of Summer’ with Pepper.”

“Well, I’ve never been this close to anyone before, so I don’t know what we call it.” I sighed and wriggled down so our faces were level.

“How do you feel about me?” I asked, serious again.

“I love you.”

“Yeah, but you love Thor, too, don’t you? You love Schadenfruede, too, but in different ways, right? In what way do you love me?”

“The same way _you_ love _me_.”

“How do you know how I love you?”

“When you tell me, I’ll agree with you.”

“That’s not fair,” I complained. “I want to know the truth!”

“But what if—”

“No, no ‘buts’ or ‘what ifs’. Just tell me.” Loki rested his head against the nape of my neck and inhaled my scent.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Show me, then.” As if he suddenly got an idea, he sat up a little and looked down at me.

“If I’m completely honest with you, will you promise to be completely honest with me?” he asked softly. I smirked to hide my uneasiness.

“Deal.” My smirk fell and my eyes widened in delight when he lowered his lips to mine. I lifted my head up to deepen the kiss for a moment before pulling away briefly.

“I was hoping you were going to do that,” I breathed into his ear, then pulled him down to crash our lips together again. Feeling his body flush against mine sent a rush of warm blood to my favorite appendage, and I unconsciously thrust my pelvis into his. Loki tensed and started pulling away from me. I whined from the loss of contact.

“Loki, what’s wrong?” He shook his head and tried to sit up, but I held him in place. “Loki, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I just don’t want to do that right now, okay?”

“Why not?” I complained, knowing what he was talking about. He started struggling weakly as if in distress.

“I just don’t,” he repeated. “Please don’t make me . . .” I froze for a second in shock.

“Well, I’m not going to _force_ you!” I exclaimed, a little heartbroken that he would think that. He looked at me warily and realization hit me hard. “Were you . . . did someone . . .” I couldn’t even finish the question, looking into his sad, confirming eyes. I hugged him close to me, tears filling my eyes and threatening to spill over. “Loki . . . I don’t know what to say . . . I’m so sorry that happened to you . . . who-who did it?” Loki started shifting uncomfortably.

“Well, in prison on Asgard, we don’t really have, uh, human rights or anything. But, it’s okay, because I deser—” I slapped my hand over his mouth hard, staring at him in disbelief.

“Don’t _say_ that! How could you- how could you even _think_ that?!” I stuttered wildly. Loki grabbed my wrist and tried to pull it away from his mouth, saying something muffled by my hand. “No, _listen,_ don’t you ever think that, okay? Because it’s not true!” He nodded slowly and I let go of him.

“I’m sorry. Really, though, it’s okay, I’m okay now,” he insisted softly. I held him close to me and resumed stroking his hair.

“I just don’t see why someone as great as you has to go through so much shit.”

“You didn’t always think I was so great,” he reminded me.

“That was when all I knew about you was that you were trying to kill everyone.”

“No, not kill everyone; just enslave them.” I scoffed.

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s so much better.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time . . . I was going to be a good and fair ruler. But, I know now that Thanos would have made me a slave like any other mortal. Only, with the mind-control thing, you don’t even realize you’re acting against your will.”

“I wouldn’t know,” I said, smirking proudly. Loki started rubbing my arc reactor through my shirt.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. What is it?”

“It’s called an ‘arc reactor’. It’s basically an electromagnet.”

“Why is it in your chest? Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Nah, I’m used to it by now. I got it a long time ago; do you want to hear about it?”

“Yes, please tell me,” he said enthusiastically, still polishing the smooth surface with my Black Sabbath T-shirt. I sighed and got comfortable, telling him all about being the “Merchant of Death” and being held captive in Afghanistan, and how I made the Iron Man suit.

“The arc reactor powers the suit and keeps the shrapnel from entering my heart,” I concluded.

“Can I see it?”

“Sure, if you take off your shirt.”

“No.”

“Okay.” I took off my shirt and pointed proudly to the device, and he examined it with wonder.

“Does it bother you that it glows?” he said, tracing the pattern on it with his long finger.

“No, it’s like a built in night-light . . . not that I need one, of course,” I said, a little embarrassed, but I didn’t think he knew what a night-light was, anyway.

“So, if someone takes it out . . .”

“I’ll die,” I said, a little nervous now, but reminding myself that I trust him. “Fortunately, I learn from mistakes, and I always keep a spare handy.” He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Oh, good. It looks so easy to remove. You should put a lock on it or something.”

“Good idea.” His fingers started tracing the skin around the reactor, and eventually started examining my entire chest. “What-what are you doing?” I asked, not entirely put off by the feeling of his slowly stroking fingers.

“You’re not as big and strong as an Asgardian, but you’re bigger and stronger than I, somewhere in between.”

“Yeah, on Midgard, we don’t discriminate based on size. Or, at least, we shouldn’t, but some people do.”

“I wish I was as strong as you,” he sighed longingly. “Then maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“I like you how you are,” I insisted. He was silent for the rest of the night until he fell asleep, and I left him a small note before leaving.

 

 


	18. Confessing 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gushes about his new fling to the others

I planned to spend the rest of the day hiding in my room and thinking about Loki, stopping first for some coffee, but Clint and Natasha were waiting for me.

“So when do we get to meet her?” Clint asked.

“Or _him_ . . .” Natasha added suspiciously from the couch.

“Never,” I mumbled in reply.

“Why not?” Clint whined. “At least tell us about her!” I chewed on the corner of my mouth, considering it. I could talk about him forever. Besides, I loved bragging, and Loki certainly was something to brag about. I thought I might enjoy gushing about him to my friends.

“Okay, fine!” I relented.

“Yay!” Natasha said, smiling. “Jarvis, invite everyone up here!”

“Except for Thor!” I added hurriedly.

“Why not Thor?” Clint asked.

“Because, he . . . sort of caught us together yesterday, so they know each other, and I don’t want him to give anything away.”

“He’s out with Jane anyway,” Natasha said. Steve, Pepper, and Bruce joined us then, and we all got comfortable in the living room.

“So, first of all . . . yes, he is a guy.”

“Called it!” Natasha said with a small fist pump.

“Gross!” Steve complained. “Gross, Tony!”

“Is he good in bed?” Pepper asked in her gossip voice.

“Ugh!” I exclaimed scandalously. “I wouldn’t know! We haven’t done anything like that yet!” There was a collected gasp from everyone.

“What? Seriously?” Pepper asked, astonished.

“Why not?” Bruce chuckled. I looked around indignantly.

“Because. He’s shy.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” Pepper squealed, making me blush.

“He’s got you giving up drinking _and_ sex? Those are, like, your two favorite things in the world!” Steve scoffed.

“You must really love him,” Bruce mused. I smiled smugly.

“Yeah, I do.”

“What’s your favorite thing about him?” Natasha asked.

“Oh, geez, uh . . . probably how he doesn’t take any of my crap, but he doesn’t judge me for it either, you know? He just jokes around with me, and he doesn’t ever get angry or hurt when I go too far.”

“What’s your favorite part of his body?” Pepper interjected. I had to think about that for a long time, imagining his long, elegant body lying on top of mine, his fingers stroking my skin, his lips parted slightly, before settling on his most striking feature.

“His eyes.”

“What color are they?” I sighed, getting lost in them without even seeing them.

“Green, like jewels, but sometimes they look like they’ll swallow you up like liquid.”

“Poetic,” Steve commented, still creeped out that I’m kind of gay now.

“Oh, I wanna meet him so bad!” Pepper whined.

“Since when do you like guys, anyway?” Steve asked.

“Since never. I still don’t like guys, he’s just special!”

“Will you at least tell us his name?” Clint asked. I quirked my lip awkwardly. Obviously, I couldn’t say ‘Loki’ because they would know! However, I couldn’t really say it would give too much away, because they would know that they knew him, and how many people did we all know who had gorgeous green eyes?!

“Uh, I can’t tell you his name, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I know how cunning you are,” I lied. “You’ll find out who it is, you’ll research and what not!”

“Tony,” Bruce interjected, “why don’t you want us to know who it is? There has to be a reason.”

“Well, he’s . . . well, he’s shy, remember? I don’t need all kinds of press and what not hassling him.”

Pepper jumped up suddenly and grabbed my hand eagerly. “Christmas is in a week! You should let us meet him then, as a present!”

“What the hell, when did it become December?” I asked, ignoring her.

“Never mind, can we meet him? Can we, please?!” she begged, tugging on me.

“Come on, I just told you I don’t want him to be hassled!”

“We don’t have to tell everyone, it’ll just be us!” she insisted.

“Please?” Clint and Natasha said.

“Yeah, please?” Bruce and Steve also said.

“Ugh . . . okay, okay, I’ll _talk_ to him about it, but I’m not making any promises. Anyway, I got to go get his present ready!” So I ran to the lab before they could stop me.

 


	19. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki decide to come out to the others

I read the note again and again. Tony probably thought I’d thrown it away. He had come here a few days ago, but he could only stay for a minute. He said he was working on something important. I wondered what it was, but he wouldn’t say. I read the note one more time.

_Morning, Sleeping Beauty,_

_I had to run and I didn’t want to wake you. You’re cute when you sleep – yes,_ _ cute _ _. See you in a couple of days or less. I love you!_

_XOxoxOXOoxoxOXXOOXoxoxXOxoxoXOxOOxXoxXOxxoXoxXOXoxxOxOXoXoXOXoXOxoXoxoxoxOxOxOxox_

“What are those symbols?” I had asked him. He told me they were “hugs and kisses”. I held the note to my chest and smiled to myself. My love, my Tony . . . he was so sweet! I frowned then, remembering how he was acting when he came here. He was very excited to tell me of this Midgardian holiday, which he was coming to celebrate with me today, but he kept getting . . . distracted. Something was definitely on his mind, and I sincerely hoped it wasn’t a bad thing.

When Tony came in, I hugged him tightly and basked in his warmth. “Good morning, Tony!”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Christmas?”

“That’s what the name of this holiday is. Do you want to open your present?”

“I get a present? Why?”

“Everyone gets presents on Christmas. That’s the whole point of this holiday; to give presents to people you love.” He pulled me to the couch, and I noticed he was wearing a charcoal suit with a dark red shirt and black tie, making me feel underdressed. He held up a bag and pulled out several brightly colored packages.

“I don’t have anything for you, though . . .” I said solemnly. He put a finger to my lips and thrust a package in my hand.

“Later. First, open this.” I carefully began unfolding the seams until he told me I was supposed to rip it, which I found surprisingly enjoyable. Inside was a small rectangular object, black and shiny with a few buttons on the edges.

“That is a custom-made Stark phone. It’s like a cell phone slash computer slash iPod.” He made me open two other packages, one of which contained a device that he said was used to listen to music from the Stark phone, and the other was a card with information on how to access an account that would let me buy any music I want.

“What’s in that box?” I asked, pointing to the last and largest package.

“That’s for us to share,” he said, helping me open it. It was a box of Midgardian chocolate candies. He took one out and fed it to me, but I chewed it slowly, frowning. “What’s the matter?” he asked hesitantly.

“I just . . . Tony, I know something’s bothering you. I just want you to tell me what it is.” Tony inhaled deeply and sank into the couch.

“Uh, yeah . . . Okay listen. Before I start, just know that this is entirely 100% up to you. I just want you to listen to my little spiel, then tell me what you think, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, urging him on.

“So . . . for my Christmas present from you, I would like you to consider, um, t-telling th-the other uh,”

“Tony, stop stuttering and just tell me!” I scolded him nervously. He took a deep breath and let it out in one huff.

“IwanttotelltheAvengersaboutyou.” I looked at him like he’d grown two heads.

“Tell the Avengers? Are you crazy? I-I’ll be sent back to Asgard, I’ll be put back in prison!” I cried, panicking. He held my shoulders and tried to soothe me.

“No, no, listen, it’s okay, I promise, listen to me!” I started struggling out of his grasp, tears rolling down my face hysterically.

“You’re trying to get rid of me, aren’t you? You don’t want me anymore!”

“No, Loki, stop, you’re scaring me!” I buried my face in his shoulder, unable to stop the onslaught of memories from flooding my mind. “Loki, listen to me. Are you listening?”

“Yes . . .” I whimpered into his chest, clinging to his shirt like he was my lifeline, which he _was_.

“I don’t want to get rid of you, okay? I want you to stay with me forever. It’s just that they all keep bugging me to let them meet you—I mean, I haven’t told them it’s _you,_ but they know I have a boyfriend. And I think they might be able to help protect you. You could live with me, and you’d have all of us to protect you, and I just think it would work out better.” I furrowed my brow, still holding him.

“Tony, they’re not like you. They think I deserve it, they _want_ me to be in prison! If you tell them, they’ll turn me in for sure!”

“No they won’t, they’re my friends,” he insisted. “I just want to try explaining it to them, in a sort of ambiguous way, and see what happens, okay? How about that?”

“You’d have to be the God of Lies to pull that off,” I told him.

“Well, I’m dating the God of Lies, so how hard can it be?” I sighed, sitting on his lap. I guess it would be nice to be able to live with him. Then, we could go to sleep together, and then we would wake up together, too.

“Okay, then, we’ll need to think of a plan, and you’ll have to do exactly as I say.”

“Alright, what do you want me to do?”

“For a rough outline, just get their attention, get them to ask why you don’t want me to meet them, and then make a hypothetical situation to see how they would feel.”

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”

**I just noticed that for some reason I switched to Tony’s POV right here . . . sorry :/**

“I’ll give you the details later. First, we have to tell Thor.” As if on cue, Thor thumped up to the door and knocked on it. I opened the door for him and he smiled at me, leading Jane in. I noticed Loki frown at her.

“Brother, I have brought you gifts, as is the custom on this Midgardian day!”

“I already received presents from Tony!” Loki complained.

“You can get presents from more than one person, Loki,” I told him, laughing a little.

“Well, I wish I had things to give you, too!”

“Worry not, it is present enough to see your joy as you open these gifts from me!” Loki rolled his eyes and started tearing the paper. Thor had gotten him several strange looking puzzles, a few new books, and a sketchpad with some Art pencils.

“Thank you, Thor,” Loki said quietly, stealing a shy glance at Jane. He looked at me and started to say something, but closed his mouth again, looking back at Thor’s girlfriend.

“Jane,” I said suddenly, and she seemed surprised to be addressed by me, “why don’t you go buy . . . something.” I took her hand and helped her off the couch, guiding her to the door.

“L-like what?” she asked, confused as I shoved some cash into her hand.

“I don’t know, just get out of here for a while,” I said, pushing her out the door and closing it. As expected, Loki lit up a little and held his sketchpad tightly.

“Thank you so much, Thor, I love it!” I laughed at him and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, popping another chocolate in my mouth.

“So, Thor, we have something to tell you,” I started while Loki examined more closely his gifts.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Well, first of all, I guess you should know . . . Loki and I are a little, uh, more than friends . . .” His eyes widened for a moment before he broke out in a smile and hugged us both tightly.

“Oh, I knew it! Glorious day, my friend and my brother have grown together! The world is full of love again!” He pulled me back at shoulders length, looking me suspiciously. “You have not defiled him, have you?” Loki gasped and blushed, shoving his arm away from me.

“No, Thor! He hasn’t, and it’s none of your business even if he has!”

“Listen, Thor, that’s not all. We think we should . . . tell the Avengers.”

“What?” he asked with that puppy-dog look. “You wish to turn my brother into the authorities?”

“No, no, I just want to tell our friends, so he can live with us in Avengers Tower, and we can protect him, see?” He nodded thoughtfully.

“But, they might not understand . . .”

“I’m going to try to get them a peace offering,” Loki said.

“What? What ‘peace offering?’” I asked.

“It’s a surprise! I’ll have to leave for a couple of days, I’d better get going immediately.”

“Wait, what about the plan?”

“Okay, here’s what you’ll do . . .”

 


	20. Chapter 20

I felt ridiculous.

The tower was still sparkling with Christmas decorations, the Avengers were chatting excitedly about things they had gotten and given, and I was pouting in a corner.

I sighed heavily, but still they ignored me. I was starting to actually feel the depression I was faking. Finally, Pepper noticed me and came over to me.

“Things not go so well with your nameless boyfriend?” she teased.

“Everything went _fine,_ ” I snapped irritably. “Thank you for your concern.”

“So do we get to meet him or what?” Oh, good, things were going as planned.

“I told you, I don’t want you to.”

“We already said we would keep it a secret, what’s bothering you now?” The rest of them had stopped their idle chit-chat to listen.

“I just don’t want you to. Just because I don’t want the city of Manhattan judging him doesn’t mean I’m okay with _you_ judging him!”

“Tony,” Steve said, “you know we’ll support you no matter what we think of him.”

“Oh, yeah? How do you know?” I sneered, just like Loki told me to.

“Because,” Bruce announced, “we’re your friends and we stick by you forever!”

“Well, how can you be sure? What if I was dating some horrible criminal, like Dr. Doom?”

“Ew, Tony!” Pepper exclaimed. “He’s gross!”

“Hypothetically, Pep, hypothetically! What would you do if I was dating Dr. Doom?”

“I’d say ‘Wow, when did your standards fall to crap?’” Pepper said.

“I’d ask what the hell you see in him,” Natasha added.

“Okay,” I said, “What if I said he was really sweet and thoughtful, and funny, and we have a lot in common?”

“Then I would say I know the real reason you haven’t done the deed yet!” Pepper giggled.

“What reason?” Steve asked stupidly.

“Because he’s ugly and creepy, obviously!”

“Oh. My. Gods. Forget about Dr. Doom!” I shouted impatiently. “Just _pretend, hypothetically,_ that I’m dating the worst, most evilest villain that has done the most despicable thing you can think of!”

“Oh, my goodness, you’re dating Justin Hammer!” Natasha gasped.

“What- _no_! No, no, no! Stop trying to guess who it is!”

“Okay, being totally serious,” Bruce said, making me sigh in relief. “We all know Tony is a little . . . _unorthodox_ sometimes,” there was a wave of nods and hums of agreement, “but when it really boils down to it, he knows what he’s doing. I, for one, trust him on this.”

“Wow, thanks, Brucey!” I said, smiling affectionately at him. Natasha sat up then and snapped her fingers.

“It’s Loki! He’s going out with Loki!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Steve scoffed. “Loki is in prison on Asgard.”

“Think about it: green eyes, super villain, Thor knows about him,”

“And he had a dream about him the other night!” Pepper gasped, gaping at me.

“No way!” Clint said. “No _way_ is he dating _Loki_!”

“I don’t know, it makes sense,” Bruce mused. “Look at him; he’s not even denying it.” They all turned to look at me, still frozen in shock.

“Uh . . .”

“Oh my gosh, he practically admitted it!” Pepper squealed, unusually happy considering the situation. I snapped back into action then; they knew about Loki, and I had to protect him!

“Jarvis, lock-down! Absolutely no outgoing information!” As Jarvis gave me the affirmative, the others began to question me angrily. “Stop, stop, everyone stop, and I will explain everything! Okay, yeah, I’m seeing Loki, but you have to understand, he’s changed! I know it’s hard to believe, and you just think I’m a twitterpated fool, but it’s true! I _know_ it’s true, and I have a legitimate reason for it, but I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Several of them started to say something, but one of the doors rattled before someone knocked on the other side.

“Sir, Mr. Thor is requesting access to the communal area,” Jarvis announced.

“Let him in, then lock the door behind him.” Thor came in and sat down next to me.

“So, you know, then?” he asked with the puppy-dog look.

“Yes,” Clint growled.

“Did he leave?” I asked him, and he nodded.

“What, he left? Where?” Steve asked.

“He went to get a peace offering for you.”

“What kind of ‘peace offering’?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“And you trust him?”

“Yes,” I said confidently.

 

 


	21. Hela

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki visits his daughter in the underworld to get his gift.

I stirred my tea with a little spoon as I waited. My daughter, Hela, the guardian of the Realm of the Dead, was escorted into the lush palace garden by several guards.

“Father, it’s been a while,” she said, sitting opposite me on the

“Yes, I’m sure you can understand why,” I said bitterly. She sighed condescendingly.

“You caused quite a rush, you know. I had to create a holding place for all of the mortals and Chitauri that came through here that day until I could properly place them all.”

“My sincerest apologies,” I said, smirking a little. She returned the smirk; so like me.

“You know, the Allfather gave me strict instructions to alert him if I ever saw you. Unfortunately for him, cruel and torturous punishments are _my_ job. Besides, family first, right?”

“That’s my girl,” I said, grinning darkly at her.

“Now don’t tell me you came all the way to Helheim just to visit little old me. What do you want?”

“Actually, I have come to ask you a favor.” She quirked a grin and settled in her seat, daintily biting into a finger sandwich.

“You want me to raise the dead again, don’t you? It’s not as easy as it looks, you know.”

“Yes, I know, but this is an emergency. You see, I am trying to make amends with the Avengers—surely you’ve heard of them?”

“Oh, yes, I have very good plans for them.”

“Yes, well, one of them has . . . aided me in my exile, and we have grown quite close. He wishes to present me to the other Avengers, but they are still angry with me. So, I would like to return someone that I have taken from them, so they see I bear no ill will.”

“Clever. Phil Coulson, correct? Well, he is on the nice list, so I’m sure I can pull some strings. He’ll have to agree to it, of course, and being dead isn’t as bad as it seems.”

“If he does not wish to be returned to life, I’ll just have to think of something else to offer the Avengers. However, I’ve never had much trouble persuading people to see things my way, have I?” Hela chuckled brightly.

“Oh, how I envy children who hate their parents! Viktor, send word to Phil Coulson, and invite him for tea,” she ordered. One of the guards stepped through the gate, and some servants moved to set a place for him. Hela’s expression turned grim and her jaw set. “You know, the strangest thing happened the other day. I was sorting through the deaths of the evening, and I came across none other than the God of Mischief himself!” The sky darkened and her volume raised in her anger.

I chewed my lip forlornly. Of course, I hadn’t survived that suicide attempt at all!

“I straightway sent you back to life, of course, but I must insist that you stop your suicidal thoughts immediately! There are rules here, you know, rules that even _I_ have to follow!”

“I was not in my right mind then,” I explained with little guilt. “I assure you, I no longer have such destructive desires.”

“You’d better not.” She narrowed her eyes at me as the gate opened, revealing that Coulson man that I had killed. He smiled warmly at me and sat at his place.

“Loki, you can’t be dead already?” he chuckled. “And getting special treatment, I see,” he added, referring to Hela.

“Loki is my father,” Hela informed him.

“Oh, is that so? I should have studied up on my Norse mythology when Thor came around. So, what brings you here?”

“First of all, I really must apologize for, well, killing you.” He laughed politely.

“Don’t worry about it, really. I expected as much as soon as I decided to try that mysterious gun on you.” I smiled fondly at the memory, still feeling bad about killing him.

“Yes, well, I must admit that is not my initial reason for summoning you. You see, I am attempting to reconcile with the Avengers, and I thought perhaps they would, as it were, warm up to me if I brought them a gift of sorts. If you don’t mind, I would request that you return with me to the realm of the living.” He raised his eyebrows and laughed again.

“Rather bold of you to come asking for my help, eh? Of course, I hold no grudges. Still, I don’t know if I want to be alive again. Being dead isn’t as bad as they say, you know.”

“Yes, I should think so.”

“Coulson,” Hela interrupted, “before you decide, you should know that you have been gone approximately three years, and that you will return in the state you were when you left.”

“Don’t think of is as helping _me._ Your friends have missed you quite a lot, and they will be grateful for the return of your company, I’m sure.” He gave me a crooked grin.

“Well, I never did get those Captain America cards signed.” I smiled at him as he sipped his tea.

“We’ll have to get started on the process right away,” Hela said. “Time moves faster on Midgard. You’ve been away for two days already.” I stood up with them and we hurried to the gate. “Coulson, you’ll experience a strange sensation, but don’t worry about it, it’s normal. You need a new body, and I’d advise against visiting your grave, it tends to cause some emotional trauma. Also, you are forbidden from revealing the secrets of this realm and/or describing your death, the placement process, and/or your place of residence,” she recited warily. “Do you accept?”

“I accept,” he said.

“Take Loki’s hand, and you’ll be on your way. Be careful and don’t get separated!” I held Coulson’s hand tightly and began to teleport, feeling and seeing the red glow around us as Hela worked her own magic. We appeared in my apartment, and I sat him down on the couch.

“You’ll feel a little shaky and dizzy, but that will wear off,” I told him. I sighed and picked up the Stark phone, still uneasy about using it. I pushed the button that Tony showed me and listened to a ringing sound.

“Loki? Are you back? Thank the stars! I’ve been worried sick!” Tony said.

“Oh, hello Tony. I have the gift, and I got a little trinket for you and Thor while I was away.”

“What exactly did you get?”

“Uh, well, it’s more of a _who_ . . .”

“A _who_? You brought us a _person_?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay, that makes sense,” he said, though he didn’t sound like he actually meant it. “Are you in your apartment? I’m coming to get you.”

“Wait, I should warn you, it may be a bit surprising,” I said, looking at Coulson as he got used to having a body again. There was a thunk on my balcony. “That was fast.”

“Yeah, can I come in or what?”

“Wait, I think you should know who it is first, so you’re not, uh, too shocked.”

“Okay, so who is it?”

“Phil Coulson.” The other end was silent for a moment. “Um, Tony? Are you coming in?”

“Phil Coulson? As in, the Phil Coulson that you killed?”

“Well, sort of, I guess so . . . I’m sorry . . .” I whispered. The balcony door opened and Tony came in without his suit, staring at Coulson. I put the phone down after pushing the red button and watched him carefully, twisting my fingers nervously.

“Stark; it’s been a while,” Coulson says politely but tiredly.

“C-Coulson . . . your dead,” Tony said, sitting down next to him slowly.

“Not exactly. You see, Loki’s daughter, Hela, is the ruler of, well, the place you go when you die. Loki came and asked for me to be returned to life, something about ‘reconciling with the Avengers’.” Tony raised his eyebrows at me.

“You, okay, hang on, you have a daughter, who happens to be the ruler of the Underworld, and you told her to bring our dead friend back to life? That’s insane!”

“I know,” I said, coming to sit by him. “Do you think it’s too much? I could send him back.” Tony gasped and clutched Coulson’s arm protectively.

“N-no! Are you crazy? No, don’t send him back! Wow, this, this is intense. Okay, so, uh . . . whew, I need a minute.” He got off of the couch, went into my bedroom and shut the door. I looked at Coulson worriedly and waited a moment before knocking tentatively on the bedroom door.

“Tony? Are you okay? Can I come in?” There was a soft noise from the other side, which I assumed was approval, so I entered slowly and shut the door behind me. Tony was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I sat next to him and put my arm around him cautiously. “I’m sorry, Tony. I didn’t think you would . . . react like this. I just thought, I mean, you all seemed upset when he died, so I thought it might be _nice_. . .”

“No, don’t be sorry, it’s fine. No, it’s cool; I mean, Coulson’s back! This is great! It’s just . . . _unexpected._ ” He sat up abruptly then and pulled me back to the living room. “Come on, we’ve got to tell the others!”

“Wait, won’t they kind of freak out? Like you did?” Coulson asked.

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know. But, this is, like, the best thing that’s ever happened! We’ve got to tell them!” He pulled us to the door before pausing. “Uh, do either of you have a car? Never mind, I’ll call Happy.” He did, and we waited outside for him for about ten minutes. Tony was gushing over Coulson, apologizing for things he had done to him and catching him up on the latest Avenger’s gossip.

A limo pulled up and we got inside, Tony continuing the gushing until we reached the Tower. I seemed to be jealous of the attention, but I warded it off the best I could. After all, Tony had been quite upset after Coulson’s death, so it was expected. I was so nervous when we started up the elevator, I started hyperventilating.

“Loki, what’s wrong? It’s gonna be okay,” Tony said, trying to comfort me.

“I’m afraid, Tony,” I admitted. “Maybe I should let Coulson go first. I’ll wait . . . somewhere else. I-I could turn invisible, until I think their ready, okay?” Tony looked hesitant, but eventually agreed. The elevator stopped, and it felt like an eternity before the doors slowly opened.

 


	22. Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki reminds Clint what it was like under the Chitari control

“Oh my god . . . _Coulson_? Natasha breathed, for once unable to keep the careless façade. Coulson stepped forward and smiled.

“It’s been a while. Not as long for me, I’m afraid. Time is a little different on Helheim.” Bruce, who had not been quite as attached to the agent, stepped up to greet him, smiling widely.

“Agent Coulson, welcome back!” he said, shaking his hand warmly. The others seemed to snap back into life and ran to him, smiling like he’d been raised from the dead (probably because he had been raised from the dead). Clint clapped him on the shoulder.

“We’ve missed you, buddy! Fury still hasn’t been able to find anyone cool enough to do his dirty work for him!”

“Welcome home, Son of Coul!” Thor boomed. “I hope the trip was not too rough for you! The first time traveling between realms is always a bit flustering!”

“It’s great to have you back, Phil!” Natasha put in. They all looked expectantly at Steve, who had hung back a bit, still looking uncertain.

“Captain Rogers,” Coulson addressed, smiling at his childhood idol. Steve slowly approached him, putting his hands in a pocket inside his jacket.

“I-I don’t know why I kept these . . . I never thought I would have the chance to return them to you. Well, guess it was a good idea, right?” he said, laughing awkwardly. He pulled his hand out, now holding a pack of vintage Captain America trading cards, signed by the Captain himself. He presented the cards to Coulson, who took them smiling like a little kid at Christmas.

“Wow, thanks, Captain . . . I thought you would have forgotten about these . . .”

“Aw,” Natasha said, making them all laugh. They laughed and chatted for a few moments, still baffled the Coulson was really _here_ , he was _back_. Then Clint had to spoil it all.

“So where’s Loki?” he taunted. “Hiding out somewhere?”

“I am here,” Loki said, and they turned their attention to the bar, where Loki was coming around the corner, looking at the floor. Clint tried to lunge angrily at him, but Natasha and Steve held him back, merely throwing death glares at him.

“What is your game?!” Clint growled viciously.

“No game. I really do want to reconcile with you all. I would expect you, of all people, to believe me.”

“ _Me_?” Clint scoffed. “You _used_ me like a puppet, you took over my mind!”

“Yes, I remember, I was _there_ ,” Loki bit back. “How much do _you_ remember, though?” Clint narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him. He had told us that his memories were warped, in a way. All he could hear was this loud roaring, like you here from old cameras filming a windy day, and a slow, creepy voice speaking in some other language coming from all around. All he could see was colors and shapes, which he could usually identify if he thought hard enough, but they weren’t blurry; they were just _distorted._ Everything was moving too fast and too slow at the same time. Except for Loki; he said he could see and hear Loki clear as a bell. He told us that Loki had seemed _compassionate_ almost, like he was apologizing for it all, and that he spoke comforting words and smiled sympathetically at him. Now that Tony thought about it, he realized that that was how Loki seemed to _him_ , when he went to visit him.

Suddenly it all clicked into place. Clint and Tony had seen the _real_ Loki, the one that was understanding and thoughtful. The problem was that Clint (and the others) had always assumed that was just trickery to get him to trust him.

“I remember being your slave,” Clint spat finally. Loki looked at him with an expression of patronizing understanding.

“Obviously you don’t remember too much, then. You were not _my_ puppet; we were both puppets of the same master. Could you not hear his voice always, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once? Don’t you remember me comforting you from the nightmares it brought?”

“Lies,” Clint accused. “Nothing more than trickery and illusion. If you were a ‘puppet’ too, then how can you remember so much?”

“A number of reasons. For one, my magic would have kicked our ‘master’ out if he had too much control over my mind. I was not so completely overtaken as you. Also, he used words and persuasion to sway me, so that I wanted what he wanted.”

“Yeah, well, that’s just, like, admitting that you wanted it too, so—”

“Clint, shut up!” Tony snapped. “Besides, I’m not letting up the lockdown until you trust him!”

“What if we need to fight crime?” Bruce said, still reading in a corner and acting like he wasn’t really part of the conversation.

“Then I guess Fury’s just gonna have to grow some balls and fight his own battles!”

“That was rude,” Loki told him quietly.

“Sorry, I’m still kind of pissy.”

“Hey, don’t tell Tony when he’s being rude!” Steve said.

“Don’t tell me what not to tell Tony!”

“Don’t tell _me_ what, uh, to not tell Tony—just don’t talk to me! A-anyway, nothing you can say will change anything. I’ll never trust Loki!”

“Why not?” Bruce said.

“What do you mean? You’re not actually _buying_ this?” Clint argued.

“Well, as a scientist, I base my conclusions on hard evidence, and the evidence is really leaning on his side.”

“What evidence?”

“1. He hasn’t tried to kill anyone yet, 2. Tony trusts him, 3. Thor trusts him, 4. He knows if he lies to me I’ll use his head as a sledge hammer again, and 5. His eyes are green, and they were blue before, like Clint’s. I’m afraid the only evidence I see against him is his reputation as the God of Lies.” Clint was about to argue, but Jarvis interrupted.

“Sir, Miss Potts is requesting access.”

“Jarvis, would you call me ‘Sexy’ if I asked you to?”

“I’d really rather you didn’t, sir.”

“Kay. Send her in, then.”

“Tony, why did you lock—Oh my god, it’s Loki!!!” She gaped at him and dropped the stack of papers in her hands, then straightened her hair and skirt in a flustered manner.

“Wow, this is such a shock, um, hi, I’m Pepper! Uh, Pepper Potts! I-I’m Tony—I mean, Mr. Stark, I’m Mr. Stark’s, like, personal assistant, I guess,” she stuttered, shaking his hand. “Wow, I-I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you!”

“Pepper, don’t Fangirl!” Tony complained.

“Why the hell are you so happy about this?” Clint asked.

“Oh, please, I’ve been reading FrostIron fanfiction for ages!”

“What?”

“Nothing. Anyway, come sit down! Do you need anything? Like, a drink? We don’t have any alcohol anymore, I’m sure you know that, also thanks for getting him to stop drinking! How did you manage to do it? I’ve been trying for years!”

“Pepper! You’re smothering him! No one is allowed to smother him except for me!” Tony said, sitting next to Loki on the couch where Pepper had pulled him. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders possessively. “Besides, we were just having a debate. I believe Clint was just about to make a point.”

“So, where does everyone stand?” Pepper asked.

“Steve and Clint want to turn him in to Fury, and they have one valid point. Bruce and I want Loki to stay, and we have five valid points. Natasha, Coulson, and Thor have been enjoying the show too much to interrupt.” Natasha smirked and nodded their way. “Clint?”

“Um . . .”

“How come you haven’t had sex yet?” Steve said. It was weird to hear him say ‘sex’ without stuttering and blushing. “That’s suspicious!”

“HA! Not really!” Thor laughed.

“Shut _up_ , Thor!” Loki growled viciously. Thor gasped and covered his mouth apologetically.

“What? What does he mean?”

“ _Nothing_!” Loki insisted.

“Don’t keep secrets if you want us to trust you!” Clint pressed.

“It’s none of your business, Clint! You never asked about my sex life before!”

“That’s because it wasn’t with our number one enemy! You tell me what it is, and maybe I’ll consider letting him off the hook.”

“ _I told you he’s shy,”_ I said through gritted teeth, while Thor snickered and Loki blushed angrily.

“So what, he’s just self-conscious?” Steve asked, secretly feeling a little bad for pressing so hard. What? He’s a gentleman! Gentlemen feel bad for everyone; even criminals. That doesn’t mean they like them. Clint, however, almost fell to the floor laughing.

“I hate you, Thor,” Loki glowered. “I blame you for this.”

“What? _Me?_ Why?”

“I blame you for everything!”

“Hey, wait a minute!” Pepper yelled suddenly, standing up. “ _Phil is alive?!”_

“Oh, yeah, what do you know?” Tony said awkwardly.

“It took you this long to notice?” Natasha said.

“I was distracted by Loki! Oh my gosh, how did he get here?”

“Loki brought him, as a peace offering,” Tony told her proudly. She looked lovingly at his boyfriend.

“Aw, really? That’s so sweet!” she said, before turning her attention back to Phil for a friendly reunion.

 


	23. Arguing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguing Loki's case all night long

I rubbed my eyes tiredly from the couch, looking at Clint’s diagram on the screen. Loki was sleeping peacefully (and adorably) on my shoulder. Steve was looking tired as well, maybe even considering giving up the fight for the sake of sleep. Coulson was watching the debate with interest, Thor was snoring behind the couch, and Natasha was making fun of Clint. Bruce was sleeping somewhere, I think under the piano, which didn’t seem very comfortable to me.

Pepper had her own diagram and was enthusiastically supporting Loki from a “modern” point of view.

“You see, forgiveness is _key._ Modern psychology suggests that it is important not only to the healing of the victim, but the aggressor as well. Not in all cases, but definitely in this one, we needn’t _punish_ him, we just need to help him heal!”

“Bull. Shit. What Loki _needs_ is solitary confinement! Look here, look at the ratio of criminals that actually, as you say, ‘heal’!”

“Oh my god, can’t you just pick this up tomorrow?! It’s two o’clock in the morning!” Bruce complained from his mystery sleeping place. Loki moaned in agreement from my shoulder.

“Jarvis, we need blankets and pillows,” I ordered.

“What, you’re not seriously making us sleep in here, are you?” Clint complained.

“Gotta protect Loki. That’s my _numero uno_ priority. And my _numero secondo_ priority is to sleep on my nice comfortable couch with him so good luck finding somewhere comfortable to sleep!”

“You can’t even count to two in Spanish,” Natasha said, grabbing a pillow that Jarvis had sent and finding a nice spot on the floor. Clint was about to lay on another of my couches, but Steve smacked him off.

“Let Coulson sleep there, geez!” He scolded before Coulson, chuckling, got comfortable on it. Steve laid out on the floor in front of him, and Clint went over to sleep by Tasha. Pepper slept on a cushioned window sill, a little restlessly as she thought excitedly about FrostIron matters.

“Jarvis, lights.” I wrapped my arms around Loki and snuggled with him. It was so quiet and peaceful, just listening to him breathe. Until Thor let out a huge thunderous snore.

Several of the room’s occupants sighed angrily. I felt Loki shaking and looked down to see him grinning, laughing silently. Thor snored again.

“How does he sleep through that every night?” Clint whined.

“I could make it quieter for you,” Loki said helpfully.

“No!”

“. . . okay.”

“Pfft!” I scoffed. “Geez, Clint! Come on, Lokes, make it quieter for _me_.” Thor’s snores were muted then, so they sounded like they were coming from a different room, and you could only hear them if you listened really hard. “Thanks, babe.”

“Don’t call him that,” Clint grumbled.

“Aw, are you jealous?”

“Shut _up!_ ” Tasha growled. Everyone fell asleep after that, except for me. I listened to Loki breathe, then to Clint mumbling in his sleep, then to Loki hum contently and turn over to face me. After about an hour of this, and still no sleep, I opened my eyes, surprised to see Steve sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Coulson noticed, too, though neither of them noticed me.

“Can’t sleep?” Coulson asked quietly.

“Just a little stressed out, I guess. Coulson . . .”

“Call me Phil.”

“Phil, then . . . can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You really trust Loki, don’t you? Why? I mean, you of all people have the right to hold a grudge.”

“Well, I’m not allowed to give too much away about the afterlife, but take it from me; you understand a lot more. It’s hard to explain, but Loki . . . I guess you could say I better understand his motives. He wasn’t trying to take over Midgard because he wanted an army of human slaves, he just wanted to prove that he was capable of accomplishing something, that he could rule just as well as Thor. It may sound a little condescending, but he wanted attention. People don’t realize this so much, but we _need_ attention, more than we realize.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“You think deeper when you’re dead. You can see passed biases you had in life.” Steve nodded thoughtfully.

“Thanks, Phil.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Phil.”

 


	24. Agree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They agree on something finally

“Tony, _wake up_!” Pepper said, annoyed. Loki stirred and groaned in my arms, and I cracked an eye open.

“What time is it?” I breathed.

“Almost nine o’clock.” I rubbed my eyes tiredly, trying to remember what that meant.

“Okay, well, can you come back when the hour is in double-digits?”

“No! Come on, I’ve been up for an hour already and I can’t do anything with this lock down!”

“Pepper, seriously!” Clint complained. “How do you get up this early? We were up ‘till two in the morning! Give us a break!”

“We wouldn’t have been up that late if you had just agreed to keep Loki a secret from Fury,” Pepper retorted.

“This is ridiculous! You’re all completely nuts, except for Natasha, Steve, and I!”

“Count me out,” Natasha said, “I trust Loki fine.”

“Okay, then, fine! It’ll just be me and Steve! Right, Steve? . . . Steve?” Steve was sitting on the floor by the couch, looking at his fingers and twiddling them nervously.

“Well, Coulson and I talked last night, and—”

“What the hell? You’re all whipped! Why can’t you see this for what it is?” Loki turned into my chest and grumbled something.

“What was that?”

“I said, ‘Barton will never trust me.’ Also, I had a bad dream last night.”

“Oh, really? What happened?”

“I _don’t_ want to hear about his dumb dreams!” Clint snapped.

“Well, I _do!”_

“Well, I _don’t_!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter what _you_ want, because you are a stubborn . . . something! So just shut up and listen! Loki, continue.”

“I don’t want to—”

“Forget Clint, just tell me.”

“It’s really not that interesting—”

“Loki!”

“Okay, sorry. I-I dreamed that I was on a bus, and it ran over a little girl! She was unconscious and blood was pouring out of her head, but the bus driver and the other people on the bus were just laughing . . .”

“Aw,” I said sympathetically, wrapping my arms around him. “Do you need a kiss?”

“Oh, by the gods, _please don’t kiss him!_ ” Clint groaned. I tried to give Loki a deep disgusting kiss just to piss him off, but he shied away from me, blushing. So I just snuggled into his neck and gave him butterfly kisses. “Now you’re just being an ass.”

“If you don’t like it,” I said, giving Loki a deeper neck kiss, “leave.”

“I can’t, dummy, you put me on lockdown!”

“Well, I’ll relieve it— _if_ you promise not to tattle on us to Fury. Or Hill. Or anyone or anything anywhere ever.”

“Alright, Tony: Let’s imagine an alternate universe where I believe all this bull shit. What happens? Oh, look at that; we’re going off to fight a villain, and Loki is sitting here, alone. Wait, what’s this? He’s getting up, he’s hacking into your computers, he’s sabotaging us! And now, we’re all dead, and he’s standing over our bodies, laughing.”

“Clint,” Steve said, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder, “think about it. We all know Loki is selfish and elaborate, but I don’t think he has the patience for this. Besides, he may be evil, but do you really think he would manipulate Tony like that?”

“Yes, I do! That’s what he does, he _manipulates_ people.”

“If this is all a rouse,” Coulson said, “then he is in deep shit. We all know very well that even if he _did_ defeat us, even if he _did_ conquer all of Midgard, there’s nothing he could do to stop Asgard. They would take him out before he could pick out a good throne. He doesn’t have an army on his side anymore, it’s just him.” Loki sat up suddenly and gasped.

“My cat! I’ve got to feed him!”

“I thought we were bringing him here,” I said, while Clint started saying something about how Loki shouldn’t have a cat.

“Well, I didn’t think we would be locked in here, I was going to get my stuff after we told everyone,” he replied. “Come on, let’s go get him!” He pulled me up and went to stand by the elevator.

“Jarvs, let us through, but no one else, understood?”

“Of course, sir.” The doors opened and we stepped inside. I was surprised when the doors closed that Loki pressed his lips to mine and hugged me tightly.

“Whoa, easy, Lokes,” I teased quietly, still enjoying the kisses he was placing all over my face.

“It’s hopeless, Tony,” he said between kisses. “He’ll tell on me for sure. Even if he doesn’t, how are you going to explain Coulson? Bringing him back was a stupid idea! I should never have agreed to meet them . . .”

“Loki, it’s okay, everything’s going to be fine, I promise.” Loki started sobbing into my shoulder, hard.

“I don’t want to go back to Asgard . . . I don’t want to go back to prison. Save me, Tony, save me!”

“Loki, stop, you’re not going back to prison. I’m going to protect you, no matter what, okay? If I have to leave Earth to go into hiding with you, I will. I’ll do anything for you, don’t you know that?”

“I don’t believe it,” he whispered. “Maybe we should just forget about this. We should never have done any of this, we’ve become too close. I could erase your memory of all of this, all of theirs, too. I could go somewhere far away . . .”

“You’d better not,” I murmured into his hair, “because, even if I couldn’t remember what happened, I would still be able to feel my love for you, and I’d die of a broken heart.”

“I don’t want to hurt you . . .”

“Then don’t give up on me. Okay? We can do this; together.”

“Together,” he agreed, albeit forlornly. I had Happy drive us back to his apartment, and Loki immediately disappeared into his bedroom while I caught his cat for him. He came out for a moment and took the golden apples, leaving the rest of the food, and took his video games before going back to his room.

“Need any help?” I called. He came back out, carrying only a small chest in one hand.

“Sure, you can carry this,” he said, handing it to me. I took it, but my hand dropped to the floor under its weight, and I gasped in surprise. Loki chuckled, picking it up for me with ease. “Sorry, I suppose that may have been rude.”

“What the hell is in there?”

“All of my things. I shrank them for ease of transport, but I’ve only increased the density, so to speak, so it weighs the same as if you were carrying a large trunk full of things.”

“Clever,” I complimented. “Well, if you’ve got everything you need, we’d better go.”

**Meanwhile, back at the Tower . . .**

As soon as the doors closed, Natasha began her work. She came up close to Clint and gave him her most subtle hurt look.

“Clint, come on; you know I’m the only one who can see past Loki’s manipulation. You said you’d trust me no matter what, remember?”

“Tasha, I want to trust you, I do, but I can’t ignore the facts.”

“Your facts are outdated, Friend,” Thor said. “When I found Loki in prison, he was nearly insane. I had worried he would never recover, but he did, and it was not easy. He felt so much pain and regret in his heart, he became suicidal at one point. How can you not see he has repented of his ways?”

“Clint, if there was something up, I would know about it, okay?” Natasha insisted. “Please, you have to trust us, trust _me_.” Clint sighed and sat on the couch.

“Okay, fine; I promise I won’t rat you out. But it’s going to take more than a couple of testimonials to make me _trust_ him.”

 


	25. Titles are too hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is much chill now, and Loki does a suspicious.

“Don’t let him pee all over the place, okay?” I asked Loki as he stroked his cat’s tummy. He chuckled at me. We were riding up the elevator to the penthouse where the rest of the Avengers were probably still arguing. “Say, Jarvs, has Clint quit being so stubborn yet?”

“Stubborn as always, sir, although he did relent to keeping Mr. Loki a secret.” I smiled at him and he held Schadenfreude up to my face.

“You don’t think he’ll hurt my cat, do you?” he asked innocently. I pushed the cat away and glared at it as it tried to bite my hand playfully.

“Yeah, probably, but this little guy can defend himself.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Loki cooed to the kitty. “You can show that Barton who’s boss!” I rolled my eyes at him and walked through the opening elevator doors, making all heads turn to me. Something I was actually very used to, you know.

“Clint finally stopped being an ass and agreed to keep Loki a secret,” Tasha said nonchalantly.

“But I still don’t trust him!” Clint argued. Pepper shoved his shoulder as she approached us.

“Did he bring the cat? Oh, it’s so cute and little! Can I hold it?” Loki glanced at me uncertainly and I nodded, so he let her take the kitten and play with him.

“That’s so like a supervillain to have a cat,” Clint scoffed.

“What’s his name?” Pepper cooed, ignoring Clint.

“Schadenfreude,” I answered.

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t tell them what it means!” Loki hissed.

“Why not?”

“It means something bad, doesn’t it?” Clint accused. “Jarvis, what does it mean?”

“Deriving pleasure from another’s pain,” he answered smoothly. Loki bit his lip and looked down with guilt.

“Seriously? And that was no indication to you at all that Loki’s bat-shit crazy?” he scoffed at me.

I ignored him and told Jarvis to remove the lockdown, but do everything in his power to make sure Loki remained a secret from SHEILD and everyone else. I made my way to the bar for a drink before turning around and sighing, plopping onto the couch next to Loki and Pepper.

“What’s wrong?” Loki asked idly.

“I want alcohol!” I whined to the floor. He scowled at me and let Schadenfreude bite me. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” I whined again. Thor suddenly decided it was a good idea to wedge his way between Loki and I.

“Brother, I can’t wait to show all of the technological wonders of Stark’s tower!” he announced proudly. “You will love it here! You can play video games on the big screen, spar in the gym, I’m sure we can even find a way for you to assist us in crime fighting!”

“Yeah,” I said, “like what?”

“I don’t know. My brother is very smart; he could help us make plans! He always makes good plans, even when he doesn’t tell me what they are until after he’s done them.” he turned a hurt look to Loki. “You should have told me that you told the guard to tell Father when we went to Jotenheim!”

“If I told you that,” Loki sneered, “you would have pummeled me into the ground!”

“Well, then, you shouldn’t have told!”

“Then we would be dead!”

“No, we wouldn’t; Heimdall would have saved us.”

“No! We were not close enough--”

“Guys, quit bickering!” I scolded. “I’ll see if I can find a way for Loki to help us fight crime, okay? Meanwhile, why are you all still here, I let up the lockdown! Get out, get out, get out!”

“I’m not taking my eyes off him,” Clint said threateningly, staring at Loki, but Tasha whispered something in his ear and left, making him glance back and forth indecisively. “Okay, I’m taking my eyes off of him for now, but I’m always watching! Besides, Jarvis will tell me if he does anything suspicious, right Jarvis?”

“I am only authorized to accept such a wide command from Miss Potts or Mr. Stark.”

“It’s okay, Jarvs,” I told him. “if Loki does _anything suspicious at all,_ please tell him.”

“Yes, sir. And what may I constitute as suspicious?”

“Anything that you have never seen me do. Except for engineer stuff, he’s only allowed to build things under my supervision, okay?”

“Yes, sir. Shall I alert you as well?”

“Only when you think it could possibly be threatening.” Clint left, and Steve invited Coulson to a tour of the rest of the tour. Thor invited Loki to go as well, but he said he wanted to stay with me, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go trekking all over the Tower listening to Steve and Thor (of all people) attempt to explain things to them. That was like having a five year old explain how to make a five course meal to a master chef; it was just not cool.

And then there was Pepper.

“Hey, Pep, go away so Loki and I can make out.” She left giggling like a teenage girl, very like her (except in business form. Seriously, the change in personality could compete with Hulk and Bruce. Not really, but you get my drift.). I turned to Loki and smiled suggestively.

“So, make out?”

“I don’t know, Tony . . . you don’t think Clint is watching, do you?” he asked worriedly, stroking the now sleeping cat.

“Don’t worry, Jarvis is already not allowed to reveal sexual content via security footage unless I say so.” I snuggled into his neck and started kissing him playfully. He responded uneasily, but leaned into me.

“Tony . . . I-I still don’t want to have sex with you,” he mumbled. I groaned sadly.

“I know, I won’t rush you, but we can still fool around, can’t we?”

“Only if you promise you’ll stop when I tell you to, okay?”

“I promise!” I said eagerly, pressing our bodies together.

“Well, I can’t argue with that, can I?” he whispered, kissing the base of my neck. I moved my lips to his and kissed him deeply. He kissed back fervently, and we escalated for a few minutes until I was laying on top of him, moaning into his mouth, then I pressed my leg between his and he stuttered in his movements.

“Mmm, Tony, wait . . .” he huffed.

“Aw, not already,” I complained.

“T-Tony, you promised!” he huffed nervously.

“I know, I know,” I said lovingly, kissing his lips softly. “It’s okay, I’m just being an ass . . .” Loki smiled, happy that he was so understanding, but still feeling a little bad for holding him back.

_Meanwhile, in the bedroom of Clintasha . . ._

“Sir, pardon the interruption,” Jarvis announced. Clint pulled his lips from Natasha’s neck with a slick pop.

“What do you want, Jarvis?!” he complained.

“Loki is participating in behavior deemed ‘suspicious’ by the guidelines set by Mr. Stark, in essence ‘something I have not seen Mr. Stark do’.”

“And what is that?”

“He is refusing sex.” Clint face palmed.

 


	26. Seriously no more titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki picks his room, and Tony has a nightmare

“What do you want to do now?” I asked Loki. We had watched a few movies and eaten Chinese takeout, which Loki decided he didn’t like. It was past dinner time, but neither of us were very hungry, probably from the multitude of snacks consumed while we watched old horror movies. Loki rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Sleep.”

“It’s only eight o’clock!”

“I’m tired, though.” I sighed and reclined on the couch.

“Well, _I’m_ not.”

“Don’t go to sleep, then. Just read or work in your lab or something. Where do I sleep?” I scoffed at how confident he sounded, like true royalty, just expecting everyone to do what he wanted them to.

“Well, in light of the circumstances, I was thinking you would sleep in my room.” Loki thought about that for a second.

“Okay, but I can only sleep with you on special occasions. I still need my own room, preferably close to Thor’s.”

“What? Why only special occasions?” I pouted. He smiled at me devilishly.

“I wouldn’t want to spoil you now, would I?” I pouted deeper.

“Well, _this_ is a special occasion. First night in the tower! Well, except for last night, I guess. Besides, I’ll have to furnish you up a room, that’ll take a couple of days, at least.”

“Oh, I think you underestimate your abilities. I’ll have my room ready by tomorrow night. Won’t I?” I growled and buried my face in the shirt over his stomach.

“But Loki!” I whined. “I want you to stay with _me_!”

“You’re spoiled.”

“ _You’re_ spoiled, Mr. I-have-to-have-my-room-ready-immediately!” Loki laughed loudly and stroked my hair. I pushed his hand away. “Don’t tease me! You’re so mean!”

“I’m an evil villain; what do you expect?”

“Not anymore!”

“Old habits die hard.” I stood up and pulled him to his feet.

“Fine then, come pick your bedroom, _Your Majesty_.”

“I love it when you call me that,” he said, smiling sweetly. I rolled my eyes and led him to Thor’s floor.

“There are three guest bedrooms on this floor.”

“I want the biggest one.”

“Good, because the biggest one is just adjacent to Thor’s. See down there; that’s a gym that Thor likes to run around in. You have your own bathroom, but down here is a little kitchenette. Mostly, everybody eats in the main kitchen, right by the living room where we just were. That’s the second floor to the top, just so you know. The floor right above us is Steve’s, and now Coulson’s I guess. Below us is Clint and Natasha, and then Bruce below them. The medical floor is below his, then the labs. Got it?”

“Mmhmm. Can I have a TV in here?”

“Of course. It can go here, if you want, and we can have white couches put here in front of it.”

“Can’t I have black leather furniture? I like the marble counters in the bathroom, but I’d rather have gold faucets than silver.”

“I don’t think that’s silver, anyway.”

“The _color_ , Stark. I know it’s not _real_ silver, but I wish it was golden _colored_. I could change all these things myself if you let me.”

“Okay, sure, go for it.” He pulled his sleeves up a little bit and extended his hands toward the bathroom. I speck of green light appeared at the center of the faucets and towel racks, and extended outwards, leaving the metal a shining gold color. Loki smiled proudly at his work.

“That should do. Then black leather furniture and a big TV are all I need from you. And I want a huge bed with a fluffy green quilt and black satin sheets and a lot of pillows.”

“Uh!” I scoffed. “Since when do you get to suddenly be all demanding?”

“That’s just one of the advantages to having a rich boyfriend,” he replied, snaking his arm around my waiste again and laying on my chest. “I’m very used to living a rich life. Living in that tiny apartment felt like having my body squeezed by a huge snake,” he pouted. “I like living with you much better than my palace, though.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Still, in my palace, I was allowed to go to sleep when I wanted to.” I chuckled.

“Oh, alright, let’s go.” I led him up to the penthouse, proudly showing off that my floor was obviously the _best_. He collapsed on my bed when I showed him my room and moaned pleasantly at the softness of it. I laid down next to him and tugged on his hair until he looked at me.

“Leave me alone, Stark, I’m sleeping.”

“Oh, so now it’s ‘Stark’ again, is it?” He smiled and nodded. “Whatever, I have to go to the bathroom, so don’t destroy anything, okay?” I jumped over him and ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. Okay, I did really have to pee, but mostly I just wanted to have a second alone. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times and tried to think things over.

In the last couple of months, I have found a super-villain hiding in an apartment, kept him a secret from my other friends, made friends with him, fell in love with him, stopped drinking for him, stopped having _sex_ because of him, introduced him to my friends, slept on the couch with him, and now I was going to sleep in my big fancy bed with him.

This was not something I had ever premeditated in my existence.

Still, I was very content with how it had worked out. I sat there for a moment, processing things, thinking about everything and then nothing, until I suddenly felt the urge to have Loki by my side. I’d had this urge before, but now I could happily oblige myself any time I wanted. I smirked as I went back into the room and curled up next to Loki.

“What are you so smug about?” Loki said quietly to me. My smirk widened.

“I was just thinking how nice it was to know that I have everything I want right at my grasp. Not a lot of people can say that, can they?”

“So . . . you’re really okay with us not having sex for a while?”

“Yeah, I’ll live. It’s probably good for me anyway.” Loki curled up against my chest.

“I can’t wait to wake up and have you still be here.” I stroked his hair gently until I fell asleep.

I dreamed that I was in a military truck. I had this dream a lot. It was bright and sunny, and the young American soldiers around me were happily going about their business. This time was different, though; Loki was sitting next to me, holding my hand.

He was looking at me anxiously, like he knew what was coming. I did, too. I always did, and in every dream I did everything in my power to stop it, but it never happened. I had given up on yelling at the soldiers; they always ignored me, like they couldn’t see or hear me. I had tried jumping out of the truck, but the doors were locked. I had suited myself up with protective gear and guns, but it always disappeared when I needed it. I even tried to stay in the truck, but I would always get blown out.

This time, I just held tightly to Loki and hoped it would be over soon. The bombs came, we were blown out of the truck, and I pulled Loki behind a rock. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to at least protect _him,_ as a missile lodged into the ground next to us, bearing the Stark Industries trademark.

“Tony, wake up!” Loki said.

“No, I won’t leave you . . . I’m scared . . .”

“Don’t be; it’s okay. I’m not there, I’m here. You have to wake up for me.” I looked into my arms and found Loki was gone. My vision faded first to black, then to Loki’s face above me. “Are you okay?”

“Loki? I’m . . . I’m sorry, I was having a nightmare . . .”

“I know. It’s okay now, though. . . What were you dreaming about?”

“The time I got this,” I answered, tapping my arc reactor. “You were there this time, though. I was trying to protect you.” Loki leaned down against my chest and sighed.

“I’m sorry you had nightmares. I hate nightmares.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, by the way, what time is it?”

“It is 9:27 a.m. sir,” Jarvis answered. “The weather is slightly overcast and breezy, expected to worsen this afternoon and clear up later tonight. Would you like me to start up the coffee machine?”

“Yeah, thanks Jarvs.”

 


	27. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki loves pancakes, and Tony uses hyphens to invent words. Also, They finally do the deed!!!!!!! But I'm super awkward at writing it so go easy on me!!!

“Tony.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

 _Sigh_ “I love you too, Loki. Seriously, though, they’re just pancakes, I have them all the time.”

“I have never tasted such a soft, sweet treat. I would never have been allowed to eat this for a whole meal on Asgard.”

“Well, the orange juice helps. And wait ‘till you try Lucky Charms.”

“Do you allow children to eat these pastries for meals?”

“Just breakfast. We get real stingy for lunch and dinner. But then there’s dessert and snacks.”

“Your children are spoiled. That is why you suck. Midgardians, I mean. Not you. I like you.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“I do. I love you.”

I shook my head as Loki went back to his meal. He was wearing one of my band shirts, and he looked damn sexy in it. I caught myself staring at him more than eating.

“Let’s do something fun today.”

“This is fun.”

“Come on, I mean _go_ somewhere. We could go to the zoo! I love the zoo!”

“What’s a zoo?”

“It’s where they have animals all over the world in confinements so people can look at them.”

“Confinements? Like jail?”

“No way. It’s way nice there. They take good care of them and let them play and they feed them. They probably live better than wild animals. Some of them are really cool. Like tigers, and rhino’s, and penguins.”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere. Why can’t we just stay here?”

“Because all I do is stay here!” I whined. “The only exiting thing I ever do is go battle villains, and it’s always the same! Like this: Listen! We come flying in, start beating up little army men, and then Oh no, It’s too much! Then, the villain monologues and accidentally lets slip a _secret weakness_! It’s a long shot, but we try anyway, and BAM! We win. The end.” Loki laughed quietly.

“Tony, I love you, but I just don’t like . . . being around . . . people.”

“Why not?”

“I never have, I just don’t like the way people look at me.”

“How do they look at you?”

“Like, ‘I-hope-you-die-you-creepy-skinny-kid-who-is-very-useless-and-bad-at-everything.”

“Uh . . . that-that doesn’t sound right . . .”

“It’s true, everyone in Asgard hates me. I got used to avoiding people.”

“That’s sad, but people won’t look at you like that here.”

“Yes, I expect they’d look at me more like please-don’t-kill-me-I-have-a-family.” I sighed and rubbed my temples.

“You could wear a disguise.”

“I . . . I guess so . . . um, there is one thing I want to try.”

“What?” Loki blushed and looked away, smiling.

“I-I want to ride a train.”

“A . . . a train?”

“Well, I mean, I’ve never been on one, but they seem cool. Can we?”

“Yeah, okay! Where do you want to go on the train? We could go on a trip to a beach! I love beaches! Do you want to go to a beach?”

“We don’t have beaches on Asgard. They seem . . . hot, but I could enjoy it, I think.”

“Yeah, beaches are awesome. Hey, I have a great idea! We could go to my Malibu Mansion! It’s right by a beach, and it’s really nice. Plus it’s a special occasion, so you have to sleep in my bed.” Loki smiled and rolled his eyes.

“How long would we stay there?”

“How about a week?”

“Okay.” I told the others about our plan, and they decided it would be good for us to get away for a while. Away from Clint, especially. I didn’t need to pack my stuff and Loki still had his weird little box, and Jarvis reserved the tickets for the trip.

Loki was very excited. I thought it was adorable how he tried not to smile, but his eyes couldn’t hide his enthusiasm as we pulled up to the train station. He had a disguise that made other people see him differently, but I could still see his same gorgeous face. When Happy pulled up in front of the station, I opened the door for him and we went to get our tickets.

“Wow . . . it’s a lot bigger than I thought it was . . .” Loki commented in awe as we approached the passenger car.

“Only the best for you, dear.” I led him to a seat at the end with a table so I could teach him how to play card games or something. I pushed him into the seat and sat across him. “Okay, I’m gonna teach you how to play ‘Go Fish’.”

“Why?”

“Because, it’s fun, and we have about six hours before the next transfer. It’s easy.”

**Loki’s POV**

Go Fish was a boring and pointless game, I decided, but it was better than sitting there quietly. I enjoyed watching how competitive Tony was, I even let him win a few times. I got distracted sometimes, though, at some things that we saw through the window. After a while, Tony showed me a couple of other games, and I fell asleep when we got on the next train.

“Loki, wake up.”

“Uh . . . no, goway.”

“No, Loki, we’re here. In Malibu. Come on, we’ve got to get off the train now.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I would need to be awake for my plans. I felt Tony guide me to a car that was waiting for us and got in, still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“You don’t have to totally wake up, we can just go right to sleep when we get home.”

“Why, are you tired?”

“No, but—”

“Me either. I have a surprise for you, anyway.”

“Ooh, I like surprises.” I smiled at him nervously, quiet until we were sitting together on his bed. “So, what is it?”

I bit my lip. _Come on_ , _I’d been planning this all day. I’ve practiced over and over in my mind. Just do it_! I took a deep breath before leaning in to kiss him softly.

“Um . . . I want . . . to sleep with you,” I whispered in his ear.

“Loki . . . we don’t have to do this,” he replied.

“I-I want to . . . please,” I breathed, pulling myself closer to him. I didn’t want to feel like I belonged to those guards anymore, I wanted to be Tony’s. “I want to belong to you, Tony.” Tony nodded and snuggled with me.

“If-if you want me to stop, just tell me, okay? Promise you’ll tell me if you want to stop.”

“I promise.”

 


	28. Blech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff gets serious but it's a surprise so just read it

I woke up to the feeling of Loki stirring in my arms. Cracking an eye open, I saw him cuddling up to my chest with a sleepy smile on his face. I smiled to myself and started stroking his hair. Last night was definitely . . . different. I’d never done it so gently, so full of affection. Sex for me was fun and wild. With Loki, it was more like what I’d call ‘making love’.

Loki cooed quietly in his sleep and a sense of pride swelled in my chest for making him happy. From what I’d heard, that wasn’t easy. I had a habit of doing things that weren’t easy. Now, Loki was mine, and he was happy.

“Unh . . . Tony,” Loki groaned. I held tighter and kissed his head.

“Good morning, Reindeer Games. How are you feeling?”

“Mm, I’d be better if you didn’t call me that.”

“What would you like me to call you, then?”

“’My Liege’, maybe, or ‘master’.” I laughed and shoved him playfully.

“What do you want for breakfast, _my Liege_?” Loki hummed happily.

“I’m not hungry. I just want to stay like this forever.” Unfortunately, the fates had other plans, and Fury chose that moment to call me to fight crime or whatever.

“Fury, I’m busy!” I groaned.

“You have a responsibility, Stark, now get on it!”

“Ugh, alright! I’ll go!” Jarvis cut the line and I pulled Loki into a deep kiss. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Or more. Or less. I don’t know.” I kissed him again and got suited up. Just as I was about to leave, Loki put a hand on my arm.

“I want a kiss from Iron Man,” he said flirtatiously. I smirked and flipped the visor up, kissing him romantically before shooting off with a flare. I should start every mission like this.

**Loki’s POV**

I watched him speed off, suddenly worried that that was the last I’d see of him, the only person in this world that could make me feel so important and loved. I wished I could see what was going on . . .

“J-Jarvis?” I asked timidly.

“Yes, Mr. Loki?”

“Oh-um, is there any way I could, I don’t know, watch To- I mean, Mr. Stark?”

“Of course, sir. I’ll put up live feed from his suit as well as any news programs reporting live for you.”

“Thank you.” I settled into a comfortable-looking chair and watched as several screens appeared. The largest one, in the center, appeared to be a first-person perspective of Tony’s suit.

“Oh, come on!” Tony said on the screen. “Didn’t we just put this guy in jail, like, a week ago?”

“That was two months ago, and he escaped three weeks ago!” another voice said, I think Barton’s.

“What the hell . . .” Natasha said as a large metal creature emerged from a giant truck thing.

“Ugh, I really don’t want to be here right now,” Tony said as an evil cackle was heard below him.

“Tony, see if you can analyze any weaknesses of the creature. Natasha and Clint, get a hold of its master and try to find out if he can somehow control it,” Steve ordered. I sat back and relaxed. They seemed to be able to handle things. Tony flew like a professional, there was nothing to worry about. Still . . . that creature looked pretty furious . . . it reminded me of those flying slug things the Chitari brought. This one had legs, though, and could hold up its own armor without a mother ship controlling it.

I couldn’t stop feeling sick, like something terrible was going to happen. I just couldn’t risk leaving . . . if only I could reach far enough to help him, but Heimdall would notice my influence even if I could. So, all I could do was sit and fidget nervously as Tony circled dangerously close to the creature’s spiked tail.

“This thing is impenetrable! I can’t see any weaknesses!”

“What about its mouth? Didn’t you stop one of those armored Chitari monsters by blowing up the inside of it?”

“I can’t see any mouth, the only opening is its eyes and they’re too small for my repulsor blasters.”

“Let me get at ‘em!” Clint shouted proudly.

“They’re near the bottom of its head under a plate of armor. It doesn’t look like it would do much damage, though.”

“Be careful, Clint, watch his tail!” Steve ordered.

Clint shot the creature expertly in the eye, but, as Steve predicted, it caused little damage, and sent the creature into a rage. Tony narrowly missed being struck by its massive tail thanks to Jarvis automatically swerving clear, but the tail swung back around and collided forcefully with the suit.

I gasped as a sickening crunch sounded and Tony was sent careening to the ground.

“Oh, my gods,” Natasha gasped. “Tony, are you okay?”

“Tony? Are you there?” Steve asked worriedly. There was a loud crash and the mangled creature roared, collapsing in front of the camera.

“Nothing can withstand the might of my hammer!” Thor proclaimed triumphantly.

“Thor, Tony’s hurt!” Steve called, coming into view. That did it for me, I couldn’t just sit and wait to find out if he was okay. Without even thinking, I teleported to his side and pulled off his face plate.

“Loki, are you crazy?” Clint cried, sounding surprisingly concerned.

“Brother, you are not safe here!”

“I know, just help me get his suit off!” I begged hysterically. His eyes were closed and his breathing was ragged, but he was alive. Although, there was a dent in the back of his armor that didn’t appear to possibly leave any room for Tony’s body. Thor tore off pieces of metal, revealing a large chunk of metal embedded in his spine.

“Oh, my gods . . .” Natasha breathed.

“He’ll be paralyzed for life,” Clint confirmed solemnly.

“No, I can heal him! Help me take this out!” I directed. Thor easily yanked the treacherous object from him, making Tony cry out in pain. I got to work quickly; first mending his spine and the nerves around it, then the flesh and skin knitted together. Tony moaned in pain again, trying to regain consciousness.

“What’s happening?” Steve asked, calling my attention to the swiftly darkening sky.

“The guards are coming for me . . .”

“You must flee!” Thor cried.

“Where could I go?” I breathed hopelessly, holding Tony’s head in my lap. If only he could wake up soon enough to say good-bye.

A mixture of color and sound funneled down to the earth, dissipating to reveal at least twenty guards. One shouted an order and half of them grabbed me. I blacked out as we were pulled through the bifrost.

===================================FROSTIRON========================================

Coming to, I felt the familiar icy floor of my old cell, impossibly still caked with my corroded blood. Light chuckles seemed to come from everywhere at once, making me dizzy.

“Welcome back to reality, my Prince,” one of the guards taunted.

“Tony . . .” I breathed desperately. The guards laughed cruelly.

“You gullible fool . . . Stark doesn’t care about you! It was all a dream. Did you really think that anyone could possible _love_ an ugly, pathetic snake like you? Did you really think anyone would want you, care for you?”

Tears flowed freely down my face. I curled up into a ball and sobbed. I knew it was too good to be true, I knew it . . .

**Tony’s POV**

“Loki? Loki!?” I huffed, sitting up. He was here, just a second ago. Where did he go?

“Shh, Tony, Loki’s gone,” Natasha said comfortingly. A roar and some crashes to my left made me jump. “Yeah, Hulk wasn’t too happy about it, either.” I looked up and saw some golden-armored men arguing with Thor.

“No . . .”

“Listen, Tony,” Steve said, kneeling next to me. “Thor is going to Asgard to plead his case. Natasha and I are going with him.”

“I’m going, too,” I declared, standing up.

“No, Tony, you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, just a little sore. Please, I have to _help_ him!” Steve sighed.

“I understand. Just promise you won’t do anything stupid.”

“He won’t get a chance,” Fury growled, coming out of nowhere. “No one is going to Asgard.” I glared at him.

“Fury, you don’t understand, he’s—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Stark. Loki is a criminal; that’s that.”

“Director Fury—” Steve began to protest.

“Stand down, Captain. You will all report immediately to Shield headquarters to review the situation.”

“No, not without Loki. I’ll come back when I get him.” I declared forcefully.

“If you walk out of here, you’re out forever,” Fury threatened.

“Listen, I’m a super hero. That means I do what’s right, I fight for what’s right, and I stand up for what’s right. I don’t do things because of orders. You should have realized that when I stopped you from nuking the entire city.” Steve gave me an encouraging smile, and I ran over to Thor and the guards just in time to be thrown through time and space.

 


	29. What have I gotten myself into

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where I dug myself into a hole I couldn't get out of, so it's not as good from here on out, but of course happy ending! I love them! Anyway Tony rescues Loki

I collapsed to my knees and heaved over the side of the Rainbow Bridge. Thor patted me on the back as I emptied my guts into the void. He guided me to the golden city and into a throne room where a man with a gold eye-patch sat in a large chair, amidst a whole bunch of official-looking men and women.

“My son, you have illegally assisted in the escape and hiding of our top prisoner, Loki. Explain yourself.”

“Father, Loki is not just a prisoner. He is my brother and your son. After witnessing the unjust and cruel punishments bestowed upon him, I could not allow it to continue.”

“It is not your place to judge,” Odin scolded.

“Perhaps it was not, but I would not take it back if I could. I must stand for what is right, and torture is not a just punishment for anyone.”

“What of you, Man of Iron? What brings you to our realm?” I inhaled deeply. I was SO not shy or nervous ever, but you’ve got to admit this is pretty intimidating.

“Well, when I found Loki, he wasn’t doing anything threatening, so I decided to give him a second chance, and I found out he really had changed. He wasn’t hurting anyone or planning to hurt anyone, he was just hiding out, and Thor knew he was there, so I was just going to keep an eye on him in case he tried to take over the world again. In any case, he didn’t, and I’m one hundred percent sure he’s different now. The whole point of punishment is to correct wrongs and change people for the better. Loki has already done that, and not because he was being tortured.”

“Father,” Thor said again, “We have been helping Loki heal. He has improved greatly, he’s better than he ever was. I believe if you let him back on Midgard with us, he will be able to heal completely.”

“I only want what’s best for everyone,” Odin mused.

“How is this best for anyone?” I retorted. “He was healing with us, he was changing! Torturing him is doing nothing for him, we’ve probably lost most of his progress already. If you could just give him one more chance—”

“Enough,” Odin interrupted. “If you believe you can help my son, if you really believe he has changed . . .”

“We do,” Thor and I said together.

“I will confer with the council to decide on his fate.” I sighed, whether in relief or resignation, I didn’t know. On the one hand, at least he was considering it. On the other, if Loki’s idea of his own reputation was anything to go by, he may not be the most popular amongst them. I paced outside the room anxiously while Thor sat in an ornate seat.

“Can-can we at least go visit him or something?” I finally asked a guard.

“The prisoner Loki is not permitted visitors.”

“Yeah, well, this is Thor, the prince, the heir to the throne! Don’t you have to do what he says?”

“Allfather’s commands take precedence.” I kicked the leg of a chair in frustration and sat down, holding my head in my hands. We waited for hours and hours. When we were finally allowed back inside, I couldn’t breathe, already making backup plans in case it didn’t work out.

“The council has decided,” Odin started dramatically, “that the prisoner Loki will be placed in the Avengers’ care until such a time as he is deemed worthy to reclaim his title as prince.”

“Oh, thank you, my king!” Thor exclaimed, kneeling.

“Th-thank you,” I said breathlessly, not sure if I should kneel. Another guard (there were a lot of them) led us out and down lots and lots of stairs to the dungeon, where we went down more stairs to the high-security-type area. Loki’s cell was way in the back. I rushed up to his cage-like confinement.

Loki was chained to the wall, blood running down his body. Fresh whip marks criss-crossed over his torso, wrapping around to his back. He wasn’t moving, he didn’t even seem to be breathing.

“Loki? Loki?” I asked through the bars. He opened his eyes and raised his head a little before letting it fall. The guard unlocked the doors and undid his chains. He fell unceremoniously to the floor, and the guard lifted him by his arm.

“You got out early, princess.”

“Hey, hey, leave him alone. Only I can call him princess,” I snapped, taking Loki from him. “Loki? Can you hear me?”

“Leave me alone.”

. . .

“What?”

“Stop it, just let me rest . . .”

“Loki, Thor and I are taking you home. Do you understand? You’re going home.” He didn’t respond, slumping tiredly.

“Come, Stark. Loki is not in his right mind just now,” Thor explained. We were silent the entire way home. I sat Loki on my couch and held his hands, but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Look, Loki, we’re home. Don’t you see? It’s okay now!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone.”

“Loki,” Thor said, sitting next to us. “What do you mean? Don’t you like Tony anymore?”

“You’re not Tony!” He growled, jerking away from me. “Leave me alone, I’m not falling for that again!”

“Falling for— Loki, we’re not trying to trick you!” I gasped. Thor sat down on Loki’s other side, and he narrowed his eyes at him distrustfully.

“What do you mean, Loki?”

“Stop it. Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

“Loki, tell me what you mean. Did the guards tell you this was fake? Did they tell you it was a dream?”

“Yes, _you_ told me that. I don’t know why you have to do it again. Didn’t you get enough satisfaction the first time?”

“Loki, look at me,” I said. “Isn’t there even the slightest possibility that they were lying? Isn’t it possible that this was real?” Loki glowered at me.

“No, you made that perfectly clear. Thank you for setting me straight, I won’t make that mistake again.”

“What mistake? What did they tell you?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“You just want me to say it out loud, don’t you? You just never get enough! Well, I’m not going to say anything.” He folded his arms and sat against the back of the couch, pursing his lips. I stood up angrily.

“God damn it. I’ll kill them, I’ll kill every one of them,” I muttered.

  
  


 


	30. none

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki are equally stubborn, so problems.

“Sir, Director Fury is on the line,” Jarvis informed me. I sighed in frustration. Great. We finally convince Odin to get off Loki’s back and now we have to deal with Fury and Loki doesn’t even believe this is real. What. The. Hell.

“Alright, patch him through.”

“Stark, get your ass to headquarters right now! You too, Thor!”

“Director Fury, my brother is not well! We cannot leave him unattended!”

“Then, by all means, bring him with! We have a nice little cell for him.”

“No, no,” I argued, “if you want to see me so bad, we can open up a video conference.”

“Stark, I have had enough of your little games. This is serious. If you’re not here in ten minutes, I’m sending a squad for you!” The line went dead.

“Damn it damn it damn it! Come on, Thor, we’re just gonna have to take Loki with us.” I put my hand on Loki’s arm and led him to the elevator. At least he wasn’t trying to get away from me. We drove to headquarters in silence, I was growing more and more tense along the way. Fury was really angry. He’d been pissed before, really pissed. In fact, he was always pissed about something. This was different, though. He sounded like he could smother kittens in his huge hands to relieve the stress.

We got through the first few stages of security easily. These security guards were used to strange stuff going on, their job was to do what they were told and not question it. However, the deeper we got, the more the guards were trained to make judgments and not allow suspicious situations to pass through. Still, seeing the world’s top most wanted super villain was not much to worry about when he was being held by Iron Man and Thor.

We ran into problems when the last security check point was told to apprehend Loki from us. One guard approached me with a large gun and handcuffs.

“Excuse me, sir. We were told to take Loki from you to a holding cell.”

“No, stay away from him,” I threatened. “I’ll handle him.”

“Sir, I’m sorry, but Director Fury said you were compromised and to ignore your wishes.” He reached for Loki again but I pulled him behind me.

“Hey, let us through or I’ll sick his protective older brother on you.”

“Is there a problem?” Thor said menacingly from behind me, suddenly coming up from talking to another guard. Seeing as Thor could snap that gun in half after being shot in the biceps with it, the guard decided to let them through. Of course, Director Fury wasn’t at all surprised that we managed to keep our charge, standing in front of the conference table where all of the Avengers and Coulson sat.

“You! Sit there, and don’t move!” he barked at Loki.

“Hey, don’t tell him what to do!” I snapped back. “Loki, you can sit here, okay?” I said softly, putting him in the chair Fury pointed out and moving my chair next to him. Fury’s jaw visibly clenched in annoyance at that.

“Stark, I am appalled that you would have the gall to completely disregard the safety of the public and help a criminal in hiding. What the hell made you think this was a good idea? Do you have a death wish, or has so many years of drinking finally caught up to you?”

“Before I answer any questions, I want to know what you think you know, so I can set you straight.”

“Oh, really? And since you’re Mr. Tony Stark of Stark Industries, you somehow get to call the shots, is that it?”

“No. I get to call the shots, because unlike you, I have an open mind and I’m willing to consider that maybe I don’t know _everything._ ” I bit back venomously. “Now, if it pleases your majesty, I would like to know what you think is going on.”

“What I _know_ is going on is that you found SHIELD’s most wanted criminal and didn’t report it, and you continued to keep him hidden, and then you fed his lies to your team so you could bring him home for god-knows-what reason, and to top it all off, you disobeyed a direct order so you could go to Asgard and get this criminal freed!”

“Well, yeah, actually, that’s about it,” I conceded.

“Why, Stark?” he said, moving closer to us and getting quieter. “Why in that quick-thinking, brilliant head of yours did you decide to do this?”

“I don’t know. I often ask myself the same question. I have no idea why I didn’t just turn him in like I should have. Maybe it was because I was tired of following orders. Maybe it was because I wanted to have a secret life, for the sake of adventure. Maybe it was because I saw how terrified he was that I was going to send him back to his punishment. It doesn’t matter anyway, what’s done is done. What’s important is that I found out a lot of things about Loki, and in my quick-thinking, brilliant head that also makes very good judgments, I decided Loki was just as innocent as I was, and he needed help.”

“You think he’s changed?”

“I know he has.”

“And the God of Lies and Deceit means nothing to you?”

“Even the God of Lies can only go so far.”

“Well, why don’t we ask the God of Lies?” he said, standing over Loki. “Loki, have you changed from the man that leveled a small New Mexico town and demolished Manhattan?”

Loki looked him right in the eye (pun intended) and said, “No.”

“What?!” I gasped. “Loki! Stop that!”

“Real convincing, Stark,” Fury growled.

“Director, if I may,” Thor interrupted, “Loki is not well, as we said before.”

“What the hell’s wrong with him?”

“When he was taken back to Asgard,” Thor explained, “the guards told him that all that happened was fake, just an illusion, and he believes it. He thinks he’s still in his cell, dreaming all of this.”

“That’s terrible!” Natasha said. “Loki, why do you believe that? Don’t you know they’re just lying to make you feel bad?”

“Of course, I know they would do something like that,” Loki replied, “but based on logic and reasoning, the chance that any of this is actually real is incredibly slim.”

“What, like, one in a hundred?” I asked quietly.

“More like one in a million.”

“Why? Why is it so hard to believe that people care about you?”

“Because, nobody cares about me. Nobody has for thousands of years, so why should anyone now? Especially after all I’ve done. I’ve never done anything so bad before, and people hated me for it.”

“It’s not true, Loki,” Thor told him solemnly. “I love you, Mother loves you, even Father loves you!” Loki made a face when he said ‘Father’.

“I thought it was impossible to fabricate the Realm of the Dead,” Coulson mused.

“It is, but it’s not impossible to fabricate my memories of the transition area where Hela resides. There’s really no substantial evidence that I’m not just dreaming this.”

“Damn it, Loki,” I breathed, leaning my head on his shoulder. “This is too much for me.”

“Starkson,” Thor said, “we’d better help Loki later. We have other important matters to attend to just now.”

“You’re right, Thor,” I said, remembering another point I was going to make. “So, Fury, how do you explain Coulson coming back to life?”

“An elaborate rouse by Loki to get us to trust him.”

“Listen to him, though, listen to Coulson! He knows what’s going on!”

“It’s true;” Coulson said, “I’m not allowed to say much, but I know that Loki is a good man, and that all he needs is another chance.”

“What exactly happened with you, Coulson?” Fury said. “What did Loki say and do to bring you back?”

“Like I said: I’m not allowed to say much, the secrets of the afterlife must be kept secret. I can tell you, however, that I was called by some guards to Hela’s garden to have tea with her, and Loki was there. He apologized to me and explained that he was trying to make amends with you guys, and that it might help if I went back with him, as a peace offering of sorts. I agreed, because I was able to see how honest he was being, and how good his intentions were.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Fury sighed.

“Director, if I may,” Thor interjected again, “you did concede to allow Loki to suffer the punishment chosen by Asgard’s courts. They have decided to put him in our care for rehabilitation.”

“What if I say he can rehabilitate in a prison cell?”

“With all due respect, Director, he was entrusted to the Avengers’ care, not SHIELD’s.”

“So,” Steve concluded, “his fate will be decided by all of us.”

“Then, you all agree that it’s safe to have Loki living in Avengers Tower, eating and sleeping with you?”

“Yes,” said Tony, Thor, Natasha, and Steve.

“Even you, Barton? After all he did to you?”

“ . . . it’s hard to explain, Director, but I believe this is the right thing to do.” Fury stood there for a minute, contemplating.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here,” he concluded, “but I know I don’t know everything, so . . . I’ll give him a chance. One chance, you understand me? One slip up, and he’ll never see the light of day again.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

 


	31. Filler, I guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter of Tony trying to rehabilitate Loki

“Okay, let’s go over this again,” I said, pacing in front of Loki. “The guards of Asgard hate your guts, and they were really jealous that you got with me, so they told you that it was fake just to be mean!”

“Tony, I _know_ that, I just can’t believe it. I’ve analyzed all the facts and probabilities. It’s just not possible.”

“Yeah, so, why would they do it again? Why would they send you back?”

“I don’t know, maybe they wanted the satisfaction of telling me it was fake again. I don’t feel like giving them that.”

“Damn it . . . I’m gonna kill them . . .” I sighed, rubbing my face tiredly. We were getting nowhere. How the hell was I supposed to do this? He didn’t believe me, he didn’t want to believe me! “There has to be something, some undeniable proof that this is reality. Is there anything that can convince you?”

“Yes . . . possibly.”

“What?! What did you say?! What is it, what can I do?!” I said hysterically, coming up close to him and almost tearing up with desperation.

“I . . . I don’t know if it will work . . .” he said quietly, looking down as though he was just as desperate as I was to get back to the way it was before.

“Come on, it’s okay, if it doesn’t work, we’ll try something else! Just tell me, come on Loki, tell me,” I insisted as he looked around uncertainly.

“I don’t feel good, Tony. I just want to lie down for a while, okay?” he sighed quietly.

“Okay, okay, that’s okay. Just . . . I guess we don’t really need to rush or anything . . .”

“Is my room ready or did you forget with all of the excitement?” he asked emotionlessly.

“No, Jarvis should have taken care of it.” He nodded and walked to the elevator. “Do you . . . do you want me to—”

“No thank you.” The doors shut over his face and I collapsed on the couch. This was just too much for me. I didn’t want to do this anymore. All I wanted was for things to get back to the way they were. I’d been wanting that for a long time. I wanted to go back to before I got the arc reactor, then to before I found out Stane was the enemy, then to before Pepper was more than just my assistant, then to before I knew I was dying, before the Avenger’s, before Loki . . .

Everything was falling to shit. Everything always falls to shit. I don’t understand it, everything was fine before. I was so happy, I had no problems. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was all over. I didn’t want it to be this way, it was all I could think about.

“I dug myself in too deep, Jarvs.”

“You’re just realizing this now?”

“Hey, I don’t need the attitude, okay? I really messed things up.”

“. . . would you like me to send for Miss Potts?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be good.” Of course, always on the ball, Pepper came through the elevator doors almost immediately.

“Hey, Tony, how are you feeling?” she asked, her voice full of concern. She sat next to me and held my hand.

“What am I doing, Pepper? Why can’t I just be done? All this stuff keeps happening, it’s this never ending loop. Something goes wrong, I fix it, something else goes wrong. Sometimes they overlap, and that’s always fun.”

“I know, Tony. It’s hard. But, these things that you fight for, they’re worth it, aren’t they?” she asked, trying to make me feel better.

“Pepper? . . . Do you ever wish . . . we were still together?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Tony—”

“No, Pepper, I’m being serious. Did you enjoy being with me? I enjoyed it, we had some fun times.”

“Tony, I enjoyed being with you, but we broke up for a reason.”

“Do you even remember what that reason was?”

“Yes, I do. We had a great run, we were young- well, youngish, and we were in love. Then . . . we weren’t in love anymore. We were pretending to be in love, and it’s really hard to accept each other’s bad traits when you’re that close and not in love. So, I ended it. And, it’s been better this way, hasn’t it? It was great, and now, it’s still great, it’s just changed, right?”

“I don’t even know anymore, Pepper. I just want to wake up tomorrow next to Loki and have some pancakes, watch some TV, maybe take a bubble bath, and not have to worry about anything.”

“I know. You deserve it, too. I don’t know why this stuff keeps happening, to _you_ of all people, and I don’t know what to say to make you feel better.”

“It’s alright, I guess. I’m not giving up, though.”

“Good for you! Listen, I think you’d better get some sleep. Tomorrow, you can just hang out, relax, take a break. I think you just need to take it a little slow with him, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m gonna hit the sack, then. See you tomorrow.”

 


	32. Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony takes Loki out for the day!

“Good morning, Loki.” He groaned and pushed a pillow over his face, but I pulled it off of him.

“Tony! Stop it! It’s so bright!” he complained.

“Jarvs, lower lights 40 percent. Come on, we’re going out.”

“Out? Where? _Why_?” Loki asked, sounding more than a little irritated.

“Rehab. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say.”

“I don’t like laughing.” I rolled my eyes at him and started pulling off his shirt.

“Stop it, what are you doing?”

“I’m changing your clothes, you can’t go out in that.”

“I can change my own clothes!” he insisted, pushing my hands away. “Why do we have to go _out_ for . . . uh . . .”

“ _Rehabilitation,_ Loki. Rehab for short. We have to go out because I want to have some fun, and this place is boring. Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” I sat down in front of him and looked him in the eye.

“Alright, we’re going to play a game. We’ll take turns choosing where to go until we’re ready to come back and go to bed, okay?”

“No.”

“Good. I’ll pick first. I think we’d better eat first, I know a great place. Change your pants, too, Loki.”

“Tony, I don’t want to go anywh—”

“I’m way ahead of you,” I interrupted. “You know I love you, and I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. So, you can join me out on the town today, or you can stay here while I go out. I’m sure Thor has some idea how to entertain you.” Loki glared at me.

“You are despicable.”

“All part of the job. Come on, we’ll drive one of my nice cars. . . Do you think you should wear a disguise?”

“No.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” I held his hand and led him to the elevator. He held his glare, but I got the feeling that he enjoyed holding my hand. His grip was soft, and he occasionally caressed my hand lightly with his thumb.

I opened the door to the passenger’s side of a blue mustang for him and helped him in. We drove across town in silence, except I chuckled occasionally as he stared out the window in awe at all the skyscrapers. The restaurant was crowded, but there are perks to being one of the most powerful men in town.

“Everyone is looking at me,” Loki muttered.

“Should’ve worn a disguise. What do you want to eat?”

“Pancakes.”

“Which pancakes? They have more than one option here.” Loki rolled his eyes and looked at the menu. The waitress came and took our drink order, giggling and flirting with me like a high school crush. Loki looked like he was about to tear her hair out.

“I don’t like her.”

“Yes, obviously. Just relax, that’s how all girls are around me. I mean, can you really blame them?” I asked, winking seductively at him.

“I’ll destroy anyone who tries to take you away from me!” he declared.

“I’m flattered, Lokes, but I think you’d better just stick to evil glares.” The waitress came back quickly with our drinks and took our order (Loki made me order for him). After about ten minutes of coaxing, I finally got him to try his Dr. Pepper. I think he liked it, even though he said it wasn’t special.

“I want to go to an art museum,” he said suddenly. I raised my eyebrows and smiled.

“That’s perfect! I love museums! Okay, I’ll get the check.” I was extremely pleased that he was participating, just hoped he wasn’t up to something . . . but what was love without trust? He did seem unusually excited, but not in a mischievous way. It reminded me of how he looked when I told him I was going to spend Christmas with him; all innocent and adorable. “Hey, uh . . . this might be the place you want to wear a disguise,” I told him as we drove toward it.

“I don’t want to.”

“Loki. Do it or we’re not going in there.” He growled at me.

“Fine!” he huffed, resting his head on his hand angrily. Of course, I didn’t see any change, but was quite surprised to see his reflection in the rear-view mirror change to a beautiful young woman.

“That is so weird . . .” I said to myself.

“If you don’t like it—”

“No, Loki, it’s fine.” I rolled my eyes affectionately at him and pulled up at the valet.

Loki was really interesting to watch in a museum. He either really liked a piece, staring in awe and analyzing it top to bottom, or he hated it, giving it a disgusted sneer and moving on. All with no apparent reason either way.

“What? Why don’t you like that one? I thought you liked green!”

“I only like the ones that take skill and creativity. If it looks like Thor could do it with a watercolor set, it has no business here.

“That’s not very nice. People worked hard on those!”

“They should reconsider how they spend their time.” I sighed and followed him to the next exhibit, where a 3D sculpture of the Avengers was the biggest piece in the room. It was incredibly realistic and proportional, each of the Avengers in a fighting stance. The plaque read: Tribute to New York’s Heroes.

“Wow,” Loki breathed. “Who made this?”

“I don’t know. It’s pretty nice, though, huh?” Loki circled the sculpture, taking in every detail.

“Look, they even have the symbol on Thor’s hammer!” He said excitedly.

“Whoa, I didn’t even _know_ there was a symbol on his hammer.” Loki continued to stare at it for at least 5 minutes. “So, uh . . . do you want to keep going, or should we leave?”

“Let’s go,” he answered, not looking away from the sculpture until I gingerly pulled him out of the room by his forearm.

“Okay, my turn!” I checked my watch and saw that we had spent three hours there. “Uh, I guess we should eat again.” There was a restaurant in the museum that I decided would be fine. Loki squirmed in his seat and glared viciously at the menu. “What’s the problem?”

“It’s too crowded here. I don’t like it. I don’t like this menu, and I don’t like this seat. I don’t like our waiter. And I don’t like the lights in here.”

“Well, geez, picky butt, shit happens!”

“Can we go home after this?” he begged.

“No, we cannot. What do you want to eat?”

“I . . . I don’t know what any of this is,” he admitted, setting down the menu and sighing sadly.

“Oh. Okay, I’ll order something good for you.” Loki nodded and played with his utensils. I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. I knew how badly he wanted everything to go back to the way it was, just like me.

“Loki? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he mumbled.

“You’ll answer honestly?”

“I’m the God of Lies, Tony.”

“Loki, come on, please? For me?”

“Yes, of course, I will,” he relented.

“Do you . . . do you regret meeting me? Do you wish you were still just a prince in Asgard, before you . . . well, you know . . .” Loki pursed his lips and sat up straighter, looking me in the eye.

“No. I wish we had met under different circumstances, I wish I hadn’t done the things I’ve done, but . . . I’m glad I met you.” I smiled softly at him.

“Really?”

“No, I hate you, shithead!” he snapped. I gaped at him.

“Loki you promised!” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Can we just forget about it? I don’t want to think about that!”

“Fine, but you better be nice. Where do you want to go next? And if you say ‘home’ I swear I will break your nose.”

“Fine, I want to go to the park. The big one.”

“Hey, good idea! The museum, the park, you’re good at this! . . . So, how do you know about the park?”

“I went there once. Remember, it was right before I tried to kill myself?”

“Oh. Uh, okay, that’s . . . nice. Anyway, I love the park. I used to go there with girls when I was a teenager.” Loki glared at me. “I-I just mean, you know, it’s like a tradition for me to take my romantic interests there. And since I plan on you being the last one I bring there, we’ll have to make it extra special. Ooh! We can have a picnic! We can have a basket and a blanket, we’ll have strawberries and champagne for dessert—wait, I forgot I gave up drinking . . .”

“Then we can have something else with our strawberries.”

“Yeah. Well, it’ll be nice anyway.”

“I love strawberries,” Loki mused quietly. I could tell he was excited.

======================================FROSTIRON=====================================

“Lay down,” I demanded.

“Look at them. They think they’re so cute, holding hands and kissing. Aw, a flower, isn’t that sweet? It’s just gonna shrivel up and die in two weeks just like their love!”

“Loki, stop it! Pay attention to _me_! I’m way more interesting than them!” Loki fell back next to me, still glaring at the young couple under the tree in front of us. “Are you thirsty?”

“No. Why?”

“Maybe if you had some fake champagne you’d relax a little bit.” Loki just rolled his eyes and curled closer to me.

“Tony, it’s cold.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens in January. At least it’s not snowy. The sky is clear, the sun is out, I’m here with you, it’s great.” I snuggled closer to him, a little surprised that he let me. He closed his eyes and sighed contently. “One more stop after this, okay? I want to take you to a movie.”

 


	33. No more chapter titles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony talk and stuff

Thor stretched and yawned like a lion, then collapsed on the couch next to me. “Good morning, Loki. How was your day yesterday?”

“Fine,” I replied. I was curled up under a blanket with a book in my hands, one of the ones Thor got me. A fairytale about a great beast that fell in love with a beautiful young maiden, and it was set in France. I liked France. And Germany. “Let’s go to Germany.”

“Why do you want to go there?” Thor asked incredulously.

“It’s cool. They have good chocolate and home-made cuckoo clocks.”

“I don’t care for such trivial trinkets,” he replied, acting snooty.

“They have the best beer. You like that, don’t you?” Thor rubbed his chin as he considered it, but Tony decided to plop down between us right then.

“Loki, how long have you been up?” he asked casually.

“A few hours. Thor and I want to go to Germany.”

“Uh . . . why?”

“Because, it’s cool. Besides, that’s where we first met,” I said, looking into his eyes flirtatiously.

“Yeah, but, _Germany_? There’s nothing you can find in Germany that you can’t find somewhere else,” he pointed out.

“What about King Ludwig’s castle? I’ve always wanted to go there. Maybe we could find out how he died! I think his guards drowned him,” I hissed suspiciously.

“No, Loki. We’re going to be serious today. Now, you told me that there might be a way to convince you that this is real.” I scowled and folded my arms, looking away.

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Tony looked at me intensely, turning his whole body toward me. His tone was firm but his voice was quiet.

“Loki, we are talking about this whether you like it or not. No more jerking around.” I glared at him and prepared to make a snide remark, but Thor smacked a beefy hand on my shoulder.

“Brother, we are not leaving this spot until you tell us what it is.” Tony nodded in agreement. I huffed angrily.

“Well, I was just thinking that I could ask my oracle.” Thor gasped loudly.

“You have an _oracle_?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I knew you would use it like an idiot! I was saving it for an emergency.”

“Wait, what’s an oracle?” Tony asked.

“An oracle is an omniscient being that will always tell the truth, but a person may only ask one question of an oracle,” I answered.

“Wait,” Thor interrupted, “what if the guards that are supposedly replicating this world replicate an oracle?” Tony growled and elbowed him in the gut.

“You can’t, Thor,” I answered. “Oracles are sacred beings, and they’re omniscient. If you even tried, they’d stop you, probably by killing you.”

“This is perfect!” Tony exclaimed. “This is exactly what we need!”

“But it’s in Asgard. I can teleport there and ask it, but with the different timing, it will take a few days.” I stood and prepared to teleport, but Tony grabbed my hand.

“I’m going with you.”

“Tony, I—”

“We’re doing this together, okay?” I smiled and nodded, and in a shimmer of gold, we were in my room in Asgard.

 


	34. The Oracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki visits the Oracle

I put my finger to my lips so Tony would be quiet. My room was dark, illuminated only by the bright stars shining through the windows. I gestured for Tony to stay in the corner while I retrieved a small box from the far side of the room. After one last glance at Tony, I opened the two tiny doors and was pulled inside.

This place reminded me of the space that I fell through just before being enveloped in the Void, that day when I fell off the bifrost. I was completely suspended save for a small platform I was anchored to. I knelt down and looked ahead of me.

The oracle itself was a beautiful sight to behold. It had the face of a beautiful maiden, the wings of a swan, the body of a woman. Instead of legs, it had a long tail like a serpent. It had three eyes and held a white fox in its lap, stroking it absently. It has been said that an Oracle is a being of pure thought, having no physical form, but it created this form purely for the convenience of lesser beings. Each part of its body was supposedly symbolic in some way. It spoke with a thousand voices, all synchronized to sound as one.

“A _s_ K **y** _O_ U **r** _qU_ **es** Ti **o** _n_ ,” it said, “ _ **b**_ uT _**b**_ _e_ W **a** _ **R**_ _n_ E **D** , y _O_ **U** m _ **A**_ _y_ N _ **o**_ t l _iK_ e tH **e a** _Ns_ W **E** r.”

“I must know,” I spoke timidly, “if I am living in a fantasy while in a cell in Asgard, or if . . . if this life is reality.”

“R _ **e**_ **AL** i _t_ _ **y**_ is _Ne_ **Ve** _R_ CE **R** _ **t**_ _A_ I **N**. Al **L** _T_ H **i** n **g** _ **S**_ _a_ R **e** _Su_ bJ **eC** T _Iv_ e. Re **a** L _ **It**_ _Y_ i **S** _**M**_ **e** r _e_ _ **L**_ Y a _ **N**_ iL _Lu_ **s** IoN.” I felt a lump rise in my throat, fearing that my question would not be answered plainly, but the Oracle continued. “W _ **h**_ AT Y **o** _u_ SeE nO _ **w**_ is Tr **U** _ **TH**_. Y _o_ u **R** _l_ _ **o**_ **V** ed **o** _ **N**_ **Es d** O _n_ _ **O**_ T lie. Be _ **lIE**_ **v** e _w_ _ **h**_ at **Y** _ **O**_ U _sE_ E, a **N** _d_ hE _AR_ **kEn** n _ **o**_ **T** to _T_ _ **H**_ e w _oRd_ s o **f** Y _o_ **U** r a _DVe_ **rS** ar _ **IE**_ **S**.”

I let a small smile turn the corners of my mouth. I thought I might feel overjoyed, sick with happiness, if this were the news. Instead, I felt a pleasant and sorely needed sense of peace.

 


	35. The end!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end

After Loki disappeared, I started looking around his room. He had a lot of nice things; gold vases, jeweled mirrors, ornate furniture, and an enormous, impossibly soft bed. It looked like a hotel suite reserved for royalty.

The problem was, it _did_ remind me of a hotel room. It was clean and organized, looking practically unused, almost like a museum exhibit. Anyone looking in would wonder how anyone could be unhappy in such circumstances. Anyone except me.

I knew Loki better than anyone else, maybe even himself. He liked fancy things and cleanliness, sure. But I could tell he really didn’t feel like this was _home_ to him. A home would have personal things lying around, pictures of family and friends, customized decor, and things that wouldn’t appear to belong there, but it does for reasons only you know.

Walking into my room, it’s mostly clean and plain. But there are engineering books in my nightstand, a gun under my pillow, a box of expensive cigars under my bed; things that make it _my_ room. Loki’s room had none of these things.

I think the saddest thing I found was an empty picture frame. It was a beautiful frame, not so extravagant as to distract from the picture, but still very nice. I opened it up to see if a picture was hiding somewhere in there, but it was empty.

“Are you snooping?” said a quiet voice behind me. I turned around and smiled at Loki.

“What did the oracle say?” Loki sighed and rubbed his wrist self-consciously.

“Well, she said you were telling the truth. . . I’m sorry for being so rude to you. I’m sorry for calling you ‘shithead’, and I’m sorry for saying that I hate you.” I pulled him into my arms and breathed in his sent.

“It’s okay, I understand. . . I love you.” He snuggled into me.

“I love you, too.”

 


End file.
